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Philippine Daily Inquirer Exclusive
PSYCHOLOGY OF SCANDAL
By Bayani San Diego Jr.
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MANILA, Philippines - Dr. Randy Dellosa, life coach and psychotherapist, zeroes in on a disturbing show biz phenomenon: controversial celebrities who seem addicted to fame … or, to be more accurate, infamy.
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The public knows who they are— stars more famous for high-jinks than for their trade skills.
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Notoriety seems to be the most dependable currency in show biz today. Time was when scandal magnets would’ve been run out of town; now they lord it over the tri-media.
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Dellosa, who counts celebrities as clients, knows the landscape very well. He is frequently consulted as a psychologist for reality TV shows —where he is ta
sked to equip both celebs and non-celebs with the necessary tools to cope with fame
, and the day it vanishes.
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What could be the explanation for celebrities whose goal, it seems, is to always figure in controversies?
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Some are simply desperate for attention. These include stars whose care
ers are waning, or starlets who will do anything to be popular. They willfully get embroiled in scandals just to get noticed. For them, bad publicity is better than none at all.
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Some get involved in intrigues unintentionally. Sometimes, they are simply v
ictims of poor judgment, indiscretion or lack of social skills. They forget that, as celebritie
s, they have a social obligation to behave decently and responsibly. They need to keep in mind that they are constantly under public scrutiny and the watchful eye of media.
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Is there such a thing as addiction to fame? What could cause this?
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Being a “star” is all about having status and power. Being a “star” is as close as one can get to being treated like a “god.”
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Imagine having a multitude of fans who worship you? Such adulation feeds the star’s ego. This could be an exhilarating, addictive experience.
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Still some others know they can never attain “diva” or “matinee idol” status. Thus, they go the opposite route by being a virtual contravida, who wears a “bad boy/bad girl” image and gets embroiled in all sorts of scandals. These contravidas are the stars you “love to hate”—it is still “love,” nevertheless. They are still the talk of the town.
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Is that a cover-up for some lack of inner security?
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The basic insecurity of celebrities is for their shining star to fade. Many of
them are hounded by the knowledge that their good looks are not going to last, that someone younger and/or more talented is sure to come along. They dread the day when they will be branded as “has-beens.” They will do anything to stay in the limelight.
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If someone seeks your help regarding this problem (addiction to fame), what will be your advice?
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As life coach and psychotherapist for many celebrities, my approach is to help them separate their public and private lives. I remind them that show biz fame is temporary, that it is a losing battle to hold on to it. Rather than concentrating on stardom, I ask them to focus on developing their craft and growing into mature and seasoned artists.
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More importantly, I help them discover who they are as private individuals. I help them find purpose and meaning in life beyond the glitz and glamour of the business. All celebrities, whether they like it or not, are role models. Unfortunately, many cannot carry out this task because they are beset by inner conflicts and unresolved issues.
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One way to transform show biz culture is for all artistas to get one-on-one life coaching, values education, psychotherapy and spiritual
formation.
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How does this obsession with scandal affect the general public, especially vulnerable sectors like children?
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Television is a powerful teacher of values. Sadly, the values it teaches are based on a show biz culture characterized by sensuality, manipulation and, sadly at times, lack of morality.
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Children are very impressionable; like sponges, they soak up these warped values.
As the saying goes, “garbage in, garbage out.” If the values taught on TV are garbage, then children are the trash cans.
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There are many current scandalous show biz situations concerning juvenile romance and unplanned pregnancy. What are the effects of these scandals on teenage fans?
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When unplanned pregnancies happen to teen stars, viewers have mixed reactions.
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Most people will sympathize with the pregnant teen, but secretly look down on her because of her bad judgment.
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On the other hand, while the male teen partner may be outwardly castigated, he is
also secretly admired for his sexual conquest.
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In any case, the clear message of unplanned pregnancies among teen idols is that it is acceptable and cool for the youth to be sexually frivolous, to give in to their urges, and to be a single parent.
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What’s the message sent to the public by rumors of extra-marital affairs in the biz?
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Celebrities who engage in scandalous extra-marital affairs turn such indiscretions into an “in” thing, a fashionable trend for other couples to emulate.
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What the public picks up from these celebrities are the following lessons: 1) that lust is a stronger value than faithfulness and commitment, and 2) that it is all right to betray your partner and children, for as long as your lustful urges are satisfied.
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How much, or how little good does it do the public to be incessantly exposed to their supposed idols’ indiscretions?
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Being exposed to the indiscretions of celebrities can be both healthy and unhealthy for the public.
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It is healthy if it serves as a reminder for people to be careful about what they sa
y or do in public. It warns people that the law of karma is always at work, that negative actions beget negative results.
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It is unhealthy if, by being exposed to such indiscretions, the public imitates the stars’
behavior.
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How can parents protect children from negative images/values in media?
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Parents need to monitor their own values to make sure that they are not getting sucked into the warped value system of show biz.
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Parents also need to strengthen their own marriage, so that their children will know for sure what a loving, respectful and committed relationship is.
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If marital or family problems exist, it is important that they receive counseling to resolve the issues. Lastly, instilling spiritual values in children will protect them from negativity and negative influence.
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