For the first time, the Supreme Court has come up with a ruling which upholds criminal liability for marital rape.
In a 40-page decision penned by Associate Justice Bienvenido Reyes, the high court said on Friday (May 16) that the decision would serve as a reminder that husbands cannot force themselves on their wives.
The court added that marriage does not give the husband the right to own his wife's body.
The decision stemmed from a 1999 case filed by a wife in Cagayan de Oro.
In an interview with Solar News, marriage counselor Dr. Randy Dellosa said cases of marital rape in the Philippines are often unreported because wives have a feeling that having sex with their husbands is an obligation.
But he pointed out that consent still plays an important role in sexual intercourse, even between married couples.
"It has to be consensual," he said. "If it's forced, if there's no willingness to engage in it, then it doesn't bond; it doesn't result in closer bonding. It results in animosity and even anger and even hatred towards each other... Respect is important even in sexual relations."
Dellosa said marital rape usually takes place under three circumstances:
One, when sex is used as a tool to vent anger or as a form of punishment.
Second, when the husband is under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs.
And third, when the couple's sexual libidos don't match.
"One partner may be hypersexual, while the other one will have normal sexual libido or is hyposexual. So the person who is hypersexual will want to have more sex, whereas the other one will not. Out of frustration, the person who is hypersexual will want to force the issue of having sex," Dellosa said.
Dellosa said that, though it is considered a crime, couples who have problems with marital rape should first seek outside intervention or take time to reflect before filing a case in court.
"In the period of physical separation, at least the spouse is safe and is able to reflect on what happened and is able to gain emotional and social support from others... to kind of settle his or her mind," he said. "It's also a time for individual and marital counseling, during that period of physical separation."
But in severe cases where violence and intimidation are usually involved, family lawyer Romeo Galvez said it may be time to pull the plug on the marriage – for example, if there was use of a deadly weapon or if the victim becomes insane.
Marital rape is a nonbailable offense. Those convicted may be sentenced to six to 20 years or even life imprisonment.
But Galvez said the law gives special considerations for legally married couples.
"If the offender is the legal husband, the forgiveness of the wife as the offended party shall extinguish the criminal... liability of the husband," he said.
He cautioned though that, even if the case could be dismissed through forgiveness, the impact to the family, especially to the children, could be traumatic.
This is why he reminded married couples not to take matters to court unless they are really bent on pursuing the case.
Certainly, dogs are considered to be man’s BFF (best friends forever!). But when the friendship between man and dog turns romantic and/or sexual, you know that something has definitely gone wrong!
Just in 2006 alone, three marriages between humans and animals made headline news:
half-human half elephant
A Sudanese man named Charles Tombe was caught making love to Rose, who happened to be a goat. Expectedly, the tribal Elders got shocked by Charles’ scandalous act. Perhaps even stranger than the bestial act was the fact that the Elders ordered Charles Tombe to immediately pay a dowry of $75 and to marry the goat!
An Indian woman who was deathly ill got miraculously well after offering milk to a cobra. She fell madly in love with the cobra and soon got married to it in traditional Hindu rites. The wedding was such a joyous event that it was attended and celebrated by 2000 guests!
A British woman married a sexually frivolous dolphin named Cindi which had fathered many baby dolphins from other female dolphins. Despite the dolphin’s promiscuous reputation, the British woman still chose to remain faithful to her dolphin husband, publicly professing that she was and will always be a one-dolphin woman. Mysteriously, Cindi the Dolphin died a few months after their marriage.
For psychiatrists, intimate relations between humans and animals is a psychiatric condition known as zoophilia or bestiality. There are a number of reasons for this sexual perversion to occur:
For one, feelings of emotional closeness naturally develop between humans and domesticated animals and pets. The feelings of emotional closeness may get sexualized, making the person act out his sexual impulses. The animals may even get trained by their owners to perform sexual acts such as intercourse or oral sex.
Secondly, there are a lot of videos on the internet portraying human-animal sex. Constant exposure to such videos numbs the viewers' sense of morality thereby making the viewer tolerant or open to such bestial acts.
Thirdly, anything considered culturally taboo arouses some curiosity about it. We Pinoys jokingly say that “kung ano ang bawal, iyon ang masarap.” Thus, some deviant-minded people may actually be drawn to that which is culturally or morally unacceptable.
Fourthly, bestial acts may be part of an initiation practice to some gangs, or may be a religious practice in some cults.
Fifthly, some people who are geographically isolated from other human beings may engage in sex with animals out of convenience and availability.
Sixthly, when religion strictly forbids guys from having premarital sex with women, the one option they have is to have sex with animals. Haven’t we heard stories of guys who “enter” unsuspecting camels from behind because their religion requires their females to be fully covered from head to toe.
And lastly, human-animal sex may happen with a person who is out of touch with reality, whether it is due to drugs or a psychotic breakdown.
I don't know but these mythological characters from Philippine folklore seem to be products of bestiality. Take a look for yourself:
tikbalang: half-human half horse
sirena: half-human half fish
aswang: half-human half-bat
In Philippine Showbiz, Vice Ganda is fondly teased as being 25% male, 25% female, and 50% horse.
Here I am with the TV5 T3 Reload crew. They did a segment on zoophilia because of a recent viral video of a Pinoy guy having sex with a dog.
Having worked as the life coach for Biggest Loser Pinoy Edition, I know how gruellingly difficult it can be for some people to lose weight. People try all sorts of diets like the South Beach Diet, Hallelujah Diet, After 6 Diet, Raw Food Diet, or Juicing Diet, while others turn vegetarian. Unfortunately, many people experience limited or temporary success.
There are however 2 types of diets that have a hundred percent success rate. Let me share them with you:
The first type of diet is called “inedia,” also known as “breatharianism.” “Inedia” is the Latin word for fasting and “breatharianism,” as the name implies, is the practice of relying solely on the sustenance derived from the inhalation of air. Breatharians believe that life energy abounds in the air and that food is almost unnecessary for survival. Breatharians however still take tiny amounts of food and water on weekly intervals.
The second type of diet is called called sun-gazing or sun-eating. Sun-eaters believe that the sun radiates life energy and that they can derive nourishment from gazing at the sun and by exposing oneself to sunlight.
Some sun-eaters are also breatharians. One of the well-known sun-gazing breatharians is the Indian sage Prahiad “Mataji” Jani who claims to have survived without food and water for 70 years. On two occasions, he was investigated by a team of doctors who ascertained that he did not take any food and water during the two-week testing periods. Skeptics criticized the investigation as a sham since they claim that Mataji would at times disappear from the CCTV cameras.
Conventional science teaches us that we can survive without food for around a month and without water for less than a week. Hence, the practices of breatharianism and sun-eating carry dangerous risks. In fact, a number of cases of blindness, dehydration, malnutrition, and deaths have been attributed to the practices of breatharianism and sun-eating.
My final verdict is therefore this: While the extreme and strict practices of breatharianism and sun-eating guarantee the loss of weight, they nearly also guarantee the loss of your life. Perhaps you'll be better off just shifting to a “see-food” diet.
Much has been written about the power of touch. As a psychologist, I call it 'touch psychotherapy,' a form of body-mind therapy used for emotional detox and for integrating the body, mind, emotions and spirit.
By applying gentle and nurturing touch in a scientific and respectful way, emotional baggage trapped in the body is allowed to surface and release.
Touch psychotherapy is not massage, spiritual healing, or energy healing. It doesn’t treat psychiatric disorders or medical illnesses. It’s a tool for self-awareness, personal growth and emotional healing.
This has a scientific basis. Gentle touch promotes physical and psychological well-being in two ways. It decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol and facilitates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that counteracts pain and stress.
I first learned about the potential of touch as a tool for emotional healing many years ago while having a massage. Throughout the session, I became aware of many thoughts, feelings, images and memories that came unbidden. From then on, I developed a touch therapy approach by which the body unlocks its psychological content for emotional healing to take place.
The sessions last from 45 minutes to an hour. The person, minimally clothed and covered with a light blanket or sheet, lies down on a cushioned table. The touch psychotherapist applies a gentle yet firm touch on various areas of the body—face, back, shoulders, chest, upper and lower abdomen and extremities. Now and then, he says supportive words to release thoughts and feelings.
In doing touch psychotherapy, ethical boundaries are always respected and sessions are confidential.
Results are encouraging.
A nun who had touch therapy on her belly understood why her spiritual life seemed to suffer a setback. She became aware of how hard it was as a child to meet her parent’s high expectations. She let go of her perception of God as a perfectionist and punitive Being, and discovered how He could be compassionate and loving. A young man who was touched on the chest became aware of the deep hurts and shame he repressed from childhood experiences of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Subsequent sessions helped him release his emotional burdens so he could live life more joyfully and meaningfully.
Touch therapy applied on an elderly lady’s middle back yielded laughter suppressed for years. As a child, she was always told to be prim and proper and in control of her emotions.
Not yet convinced? Try touch therapy and experience its healing wonders for yourself.
The author is a psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath and mind spa therapist. His website is randydellosa.com. You may reach him at tel. nos. 4156529 or 4157964.
MANILA, Philippines - Year 2014 is still a big question mark for most of us. We don’t know what lies ahead. But we all want a stress-free mind to help us face all the challenges that will come our way.
One of the ways we can do that is through mind spa therapy. If hair spa and body spa relax our crowning glory and our physique, respectively, mind spa therapy eases our mental aches and pains.
It clears us of worry and anxiety, and rids our mind of cobwebs that cloud our thinking. How does it work?
First, the process: You lie down on a padded table. The therapist lightly runs his hands on your body, searching for imbalances in the body.
He applies a very light touch (the weight of a one-peso coin) and gentle movement on key areas of the body (e.g. the head, face, chest, abdomen, spine, arms, and legs) to release tension and stress.
There are no pills, no external devices that invade the body. Instead, the mind lets the body heal itself naturally.
The mind matters: The author, Dr. Randy Dellosa, applies mind spa therapy on a patient.
The one-hour session is relaxing and many people quickly doze off. Subconscious images, memories, and emotions trapped in the body are released and restfulness and rejuvenation take over. The person feels recharged and re-energized.
Headaches, body pains, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and other stress-related symptoms vanish with regular treatment.
Those who feel burned out will also be happy with the results.
Many people are so satisfied with the results that they undergo mind spa therapy weekly as part of their personal stress management program.
One patient says, “I felt very light and relaxed, as if I was peacefully floating in the air on in water.”
You, too, can feel the same way through mind spa therapy. It’s one of the foolproof ways to start the new year right.
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The author is a psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, and mind spa therapist. He may be reached though telephone numbers 415-6529 and 415-7964 or e-mail randydellosa.com.