Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
... GREAT (Growth and Recovery Enhancement for Anxious Thinkers): support group in the philippines for people with social anxiety/ phobia ...
GREAT: Growth and Recovery Enhancement for Anxious Thinkers
Our GREAT Goals:
G - ood social interaction
R - ecovery from depression
E - nhancement of life’s growth
A - nxiety-free positive thoughts
T - ime-tested support for one another
Membership in this group is free but an essential requirement is that the member should willingly attend and actively participate in the group therapy sessions facilitated by a competent psychotherapist/life coach.
The group schedules therapy sessions at most twice a month, and each member attending gives donation for maintenance costs to our facilitator, the amount depending on the number of attendees and his capacity to contribute financially.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
... Gestalt Therapy growth group activity: chopping up a snake and reviving a skeleton back to life ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
... abs-cbn interview on the top 3 relationship problems of couples ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)
As a counselor and psychologist, clients consult me for all sorts of relationship problems. The most common of these problems would be constant quarrelling, lack of intimacy, and infidelity. These 3 problems are undoubtedly interrelated but can also exist independently. Let’s discuss each of these problems in greater detail.
Constant quarrelling between partners is a combination of many factors: unrealistic expectations and demands, impatience, lack of cooperation, and poor conflict resolution skills. Obviously, partners with high or unrealistic expectations are just setting themselves up for disappointment and frustration. Those who are demanding simply get impatient waiting for their partners to comply. No amount of nagging, cajoling, and arguing is going to work on a person who doesn’t want to cooperate or to change.
One rule of thumb is this: If you’ve told your partner 3 times to do something, and it still hasn’t been done, then it’s most likely against his or her will to do it. It would be wise for the demanding partner to lower or modify his or her expectations rather than to force the issue.
Constant quarrelling is also aggravated by poor conflict resolution skills. Partners have to learn how to fight fairly. That means, keeping heads cool and avoiding emotional outbursts. It’s always good to solve problems rationally, pro-actively, and strategically because emotions simply cloud the problem-solving process. Thus, if you feel the anger rising, it’s best for both of you to get a 20 minute cool-down break before resuming your discussion.
Lack of intimacy is another common relational problem. With this problem, I am referring not only to sexual intimacy or physical affection but also to emotional connection. This can happen because the intensity of passion naturally subsides as the relationship gets “older.” Moreover, as disappointment, frustrations, and resentments build over the years, there is a natural tendency to create emotional space between each other. The one who gets most affected is the partner who is more emotionally needy. The other partner gets affected when the needy partner starts demanding that his or her emotional needs be met.
The lesson here is to resolve relationship problems rather than sweep them under the rug. Otherwise the problem just festers and becomes a breeding ground for more problems.
The third common problem in relationships is infidelity. This used to predominantly be a male phenomenon but these days, more and more women are presenting the problem. Again, there are many reasons for partners to be unfaithful. Sometimes, it simply is a manifestation of lust. After all, we are still part of the animal world and lust serves us the biological purpose of procreation so that our species survives and proliferates.
Infidelity could also be a substitute for getting one’s sexual and emotional needs met when the partner is unwilling or deficient. Furthermore, infidelity could be used as a form of retaliation, or to end a failing relationship.
Infidelity is best prevented by sticking to a vow of faithfulness and by a commitment to flee from temptation. This vow and commitment should be made once the relationship is formalized. Partners have to realize and constantly remember that a formal relationship curtails one's freedom to fool around and to play around.
Despite the occurrence of these problems, the good news for couples is that there is always hope and help available. If couples are unable to resolve their problems, then it is important to get relationship counselling. A neutral, objective, and empathic mediator can help couples to get over the hump of their relationship crisis. Through relationship counselling, couples work at resolving their differences with the goal of working towards a harmonious, loving, and respectful relationship.
Monday, August 1, 2011
... sex education: affirming a child's sexuality ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)
How can parents affirm healthy sexual orientation in their children? The following interview with Dr. Randy Dellosa, a psychologist and psychiatrist and former professor at Asian Theological Seminary gives some answers to this complex question.
How can parents affirm a child’s normal sexuality?
It’s affirmed by giving them gender appropriate toys, complimenting them as they develop masculine or feminine traits, giving them responsibilities appropriate for their gender; and, living by example. Be their model.
What behaviors should parents or guardians watch for?
Parents should be aware of their own values with regards to sexual matters because, whatever they believe, the children will believe. They should monitor their child’s exposure to sexual information and sensual materials. Parents should have frequent dialogues with their children so that their attitude will be directed.
Parents should make sure the computer is placed in a common area so they can monitor what the children view. They should carefully look at the games and cartoons their children enjoy. Games and cartoons may have materials which are sexual in nature. Parents should read what their children are reading.
Parents should help their children develop balanced lives. Teens have the tendency to focus on sexuality when they’re idle. But when parents help them develop different interests, then sexuality becomes just a particular aspect of their lives, and things are placed in perspective.
What are some things to avoid?
Avoid exposing children to sensual materials. Sensual means it has connotation of passion and sexual behavior. In case there is exposure, it should be properly explained and guidance is needed.
Can peers influence one’s sexuality? How can parents help their children choose friends?
‘Yes. Parents may try to screen their friends and introduce them to people who their children can emulate.
What is the father’s role in the family?
‘The father should affirm the development their sons and daughters. Fathers should compliment their children. When children feel that they do not belong, they look for the sense of belonging outside the family. That’s when the child goes astray.
When should one seek professional help?
- When a person is confused and distressed about his or her sexuality.
- When a person experienced sexual trauma or violation in the form of incest or rape.
- When they have strong urges and do not know how to deal with it.
- Promiscuous behaviors.
- If they have questions that they’re too embarrassed to ask family or friends for fear of being judged.
Every parent has their child’s best interest in mind. Since we cannot live lives for our children, our only recourse is to pray for our children, maintain an open line of communication with them, guide them through instilling right values in them and live by example.