... the first pinoy supermodel ...

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well, guess who bumped into me... none other than the first ever pinoy international supermodel rocky salumbides.

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just to let you know what he's achieved, this former balut vendor/ construction worker was 3rd runner up in the 2004 Best Model of the World contest held in istanbul, turkey. he also won the 2004 Best Male Model of MTV Fashionista.

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what makes rocky admirable is that despite his awards and his being the favorite model of international fashion designers, rocky remains humble, down-to-earth, and unpretentious. he certainly is a guy with a demeanor to emulate!

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... transphobia on a reality tv show?...

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ms. marie lozano of tv patrol dropped by my clinic to interview me about the alleged discrimination against a transexual housemate of a reality tv show.

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reportedly, the transexual housemate was being referred to by co-housemates with names such as "she-man," "half-half," "samson and delilah," and "two-in-one."

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i explained that such behavior is not necessarily "transphobia (defined as "the discriminatory treatment of transgender individuals)" and the words they used are not necessarily derogatory. one likely possibility is that the housemates simply have limited vocabulary and do not have the politically-correct descriptors for their transgender co-housemate. in the first place, they might not even know that the word "transexual" exists.

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if indeed the housemates were discriminatory, it would be more helpful to educate them about transexualism than to condemn them for how they behaved.

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also, i explained to ms. marie that all of us have personal biases and harbor some discriminatory thoughts. what's important is (1) that such biases are not acted upon, (2) that such biases are not imposed on others, and hopefully (3) that there is an attempt to eradicate such thoughts and attitudes.

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lastly, i gave a reminder for viewers of the show to watch their own reactions, lest they display the same negative attitudes and behaviors for which they faulted the housemates.

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... counseling for transgendered, transexual, and gender-variant persons in the philippines ...

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i met sharon for a counseling session this afternoon and she told me her story.
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as a kid growing up, she didn't have much care in the world. but as soon as puberty hit her, she fell into a deep crisis about her sexual identity. she became severely disturbed by the mismatch between her masculine mentality and her feminine appearance. for her, nature had played a dirty trick on her by making her a "man trapped in a woman's body."
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in order to halt the development of female sexual characteristics, she resorted to extreme dieting which made her frail and sickly in the process. years later, as she researched on the internet, she discovered that what she considered as her "affliction" had a name-- it was a condition known as "transexuality."
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this afternoon, sharon sought consultation with me for the very reason that she was ready to come to terms with her transexual self. she was ready to let go of the emotional baggage that had burdened her through the years.
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through individual counseling and group therapy with other transexuals, i hope to assist her well in her journey towards personal healing, growth, and wholeness.
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... maintaining long distance relationships ...

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just did an interview for the TFC program "kwentong disyerto." the topic was on maintaining relationships across the miles. the crew was a friendly bunch and because of their apparent dedication to helping filipino migrant workers and their families, this brief interview was all the more engaging to do.

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first of all, i stressed in the interview the fact that couples separated by long distance are vulnerable to a number of problems which include loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts; jealousy and insecurity; infidelity; lessening intimacy; quarrels and conflicts.

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given these risks, it is important for couples to keep their emotional intimacy burning and to stay committed and faithful to the relationship.

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there wasn't time to give a lot of tips but these were what i mentioned: (1) frequency of communication is as important as the quality of interaction. (2) some forms of communication douse cold water on the warmth of a relationship. couples should minimize or avoid nagging, criticism, accusation, put-downs, shouting, demanding behavior, mind games, and guilt tripping. (3) couples should express a lot of encouragement and appreciation to each other. (4) couples should keep each other updated through blog journals, virtual (on-cam) visitations, handwritten letters, hand-made cards, videos and audio recordings. (5) avoid sharing problems to the opposite sex lest an affair develops. (6) and finally, it will be helpful for each partner to have a support and accountability group which monitors for unfaithful behavior, among other things.

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here i am counseling OFW juancho on his long distance relationship.

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Juancho seems to be absorbing everything i say with focused intent and concentrated effort.

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yes, it just seems.

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... the emotional help continues: bringing hope and healing to typhoon survivors ...

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just what does a mother say when her 8-year old child asks, "is this the end, mom? is this our destiny?" just what comfort can this mother offer when she herself is struck with terror by the very questions her child asks?

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such were the stories shared in the post-typhoon disaster forum i facilitated at the national grid corporation of the philippines.

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people have the impression that just because the worst of the typhoons is over and that the relief goods have been distributed, the typhoon survivors can now put their trauma behind them. but the sad truth is this: when calamity strikes, it deeply sears into one's heart what is known as the "death impact." it is the sense that life is frail, that everyone is vulnerable, and that death may be lurking at any corner, at any time.

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a month has passed since the typhoon disaster happened but many typhoon survivors are still experiencing anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and grief. some are now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or ptsd.

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these people, they continue to need helping hands, listening ears, and compassionate hearts!

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the workshop: helping typhoon victims overcome and survive their emotional storms

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the workshop was attended by educators, social workers, hr officers, psychologists, ministers, and students.
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we started by sharing our personal experiences during the typhoons ondoy and pepeng. though a month had past since the two storms, many participants were still emotionally distraught as they narrated their stories.
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after the sharing session, we proceeded with learning different ways to help typhoon disaster victims overcome anxiety, depression, grief, insomnia, and post-traumatic stress disorder. among the the topics covered were:
- cognitive processing therapy,
- relaxation methods,
- emotional freedom techniques,
- emotional release therapy and EMDR,
- brain balancing techniques, and
- art therapy.
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participants had plenty of practice sessions:
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many participants received relaxation and healing in the process:
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and what workshop would be complete without some smiles and camaraderie?
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my thanks too to agnes, al (and may) for their ever-reliable, ever-efficient support and assistance!

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Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome and Survive Their Emotional Storms

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"Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome their Emotional Trauma”

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Typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng are now gone but they continue to wreak havoc in the emotional and psychological lives of some of its victims. Survivors may give the impression that they have already recovered but many are actually suffering in silence from their emotional distress and psychological trauma. For instance, many of the survivors develop fear, panic attacks, depression, nightmares, insomnia, loss of appetite, flashbacks, and difficulty in concentration. All these symptoms cause long term disturbances in their personal and work lives.
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In view of this calamity that raged through the country, the Philippine Society of Life Coaches (PSLC) is offering a skills-training workshop entitled "Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome and Survive their Emotional Storms." Participants will learn the essential skills for assessing the survivor's emotional condition and acquire the strategies for supporting them towards their emotional and psychological recovery.
. This one-day workshop is facilitated by Randy S. Dellosa, M.D., Psy.D., a life coach, psychologist and psychiatrist. It will be held on October 24, 2009 at the University Hotel, UP Diliman, Quezon City from 9 am to 5 pm.
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Registration starts at 8.30 am. Proceeds of this training will be donated to typhoon victims. For more details please contact Agnes R. Agbayani, RGC, M.Ed. at 415-7964 and 415-6529 and mobile phone 0922-877-5970.
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Philippine Society of Life Coaches
Office Address: 105 Scout Rallos Street. Barangay Sacred Heart, Kamuning, Quezon City
Telephone Numbers: 415-6529, 415-7964

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