Saturday, December 18, 2010

... psychology of celebrity scandals in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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Philippine Daily Inquirer Exclusive

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PSYCHOLOGY OF SCANDAL

By Bayani San Diego Jr.

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MANILA, Philippines - Dr. Randy Dellosa, life coach and psychotherapist, zeroes in on a disturbing show biz phenomenon: controversial celebrities who seem addicted to fame … or, to be more accurate, infamy.

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The public knows who they are— stars more famous for high-jinks than for their trade skills.

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Notoriety seems to be the most dependable currency in show biz today. Time was when scandal magnets would’ve been run out of town; now they lord it over the tri-media.

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Dellosa, who counts celebrities as clients, knows the landscape very well. He is frequently consulted as a psychologist for reality TV shows —where he is ta

sked to equip both celebs and non-celebs with the necessary tools to cope with fame

, and the day it vanishes.

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What could be the explanation for celebrities whose goal, it seems, is to always figure in controversies?

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Some are simply desperate for attention. These include stars whose care

ers are waning, or starlets who will do anything to be popular. They willfully get embroiled in scandals just to get noticed. For them, bad publicity is better than none at all.

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Some get involved in intrigues unintentionally. Sometimes, they are simply v

ictims of poor judgment, indiscretion or lack of social skills. They forget that, as celebritie

s, they have a social obligation to behave decently and responsibly. They need to keep in mind that they are constantly under public scrutiny and the watchful eye of media.

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Is there such a thing as addiction to fame? What could cause this?

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Being a “star” is all about having status and power. Being a “star” is as close as one can get to being treated like a “god.”

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Imagine having a multitude of fans who worship you? Such adulation feeds the star’s ego. This could be an exhilarating, addictive experience.

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Still some others know they can never attain “diva” or “matinee idol” status. Thus, they go the opposite route by being a virtual contravida, who wears a “bad boy/bad girl” image and gets embroiled in all sorts of scandals. These contravidas are the stars you “love to hate”—it is still “love,” nevertheless. They are still the talk of the town.

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Is that a cover-up for some lack of inner security?

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The basic insecurity of celebrities is for their shining star to fade. Many of

them are hounded by the knowledge that their good looks are not going to last, that someone younger and/or more talented is sure to come along. They dread the day when they will be branded as “has-beens.” They will do anything to stay in the limelight.

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If someone seeks your help regarding this problem (addiction to fame), what will be your advice?

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As life coach and psychotherapist for many celebrities, my approach is to help them separate their public and private lives. I remind them that show biz fame is temporary, that it is a losing battle to hold on to it. Rather than concentrating on stardom, I ask them to focus on developing their craft and growing into mature and seasoned artists.

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More importantly, I help them discover who they are as private individuals. I help them find purpose and meaning in life beyond the glitz and glamour of the business. All celebrities, whether they like it or not, are role models. Unfortunately, many cannot carry out this task because they are beset by inner conflicts and unresolved issues.

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One way to transform show biz culture is for all artistas to get one-on-one life coaching, values education, psychotherapy and spiritual

formation.

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How does this obsession with scandal affect the general public, especially vulnerable sectors like children?

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Television is a powerful teacher of values. Sadly, the values it teaches are based on a show biz culture characterized by sensuality, manipulation and, sadly at times, lack of morality.

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Children are very impressionable; like sponges, they soak up these warped values.

As the saying goes, “garbage in, garbage out.” If the values taught on TV are garbage, then children are the trash cans.

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There are many current scandalous show biz situations concerning juvenile romance and unplanned pregnancy. What are the effects of these scandals on teenage fans?

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When unplanned pregnancies happen to teen stars, viewers have mixed reactions.

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Most people will sympathize with the pregnant teen, but secretly look down on her because of her bad judgment.

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On the other hand, while the male teen partner may be outwardly castigated, he is

also secretly admired for his sexual conquest.

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In any case, the clear message of unplanned pregnancies among teen idols is that it is acceptable and cool for the youth to be sexually frivolous, to give in to their urges, and to be a single parent.

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What’s the message sent to the public by rumors of extra-marital affairs in the biz?

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Celebrities who engage in scandalous extra-marital affairs turn such indiscretions into an “in” thing, a fashionable trend for other couples to emulate.

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What the public picks up from these celebrities are the following lessons: 1) that lust is a stronger value than faithfulness and commitment, and 2) that it is all right to betray your partner and children, for as long as your lustful urges are satisfied.

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How much, or how little good does it do the public to be incessantly exposed to their supposed idols’ indiscretions?

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Being exposed to the indiscretions of celebrities can be both healthy and unhealthy for the public.

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It is healthy if it serves as a reminder for people to be careful about what they sa

y or do in public. It warns people that the law of karma is always at work, that negative actions beget negative results.

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It is unhealthy if, by being exposed to such indiscretions, the public imitates the stars’

behavior.

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How can parents protect children from negative images/values in media?

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Parents need to monitor their own values to make sure that they are not getting sucked into the warped value system of show biz.

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Parents also need to strengthen their own marriage, so that their children will know for sure what a loving, respectful and committed relationship is.

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If marital or family problems exist, it is important that they receive counseling to resolve the issues. Lastly, instilling spiritual values in children will protect them from negativity and negative influence.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

... erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and sex therapy in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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right after my talk at letran on relationships, i rush to the new world hotel in makati to do another talk, this time on sex therapy. my audience was the rotary club of makati dasmarinas (rcmd).
. as a psychiatrist who does sex therapy, i discussed with them the 9 most common sex problems for which guys consult me. they include: .
  • low or no sexual desire
  • premature ejaculation
  • erectile dysfunction
  • penile size
  • gender identity issues
  • sexual addictions
  • sexual inhibitions
  • traumatic sexual experiences
  • social/ dating skills deficit
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i also discussed a bit about vacuum pump therapy, prostate electro-stimulation therapy, anti-premature ejaculation techniques, penile enlargement exercises, medications and supplements, psychotherapy, and the other interventions which i offer.
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while no one from the audience admitted to suffer from any of these problems. i did notice though that the guys were extremely attentive as i talked about the treatment.  i wonder why.  
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Thursday, December 16, 2010

... relationship counseling, marital counseling, couples counseling in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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psychology students of letran invited me to do a talk on relationships. entitled relationships 101, part of my talk focused on the differences between toxic and healthy relationships.
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some indications of a toxic relationship include the following:

  • Obsession with partner. Life revolves around partner.
  • Exclusivity. Gives up social life. Neglects family relationships.
  • Relationship characterized by power-playing, guilt-tripping, controlling, blaming, criticism, and manipulation.
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  • Tries to change the partner into what he/she is not.
  • Need to prove worth to partner. Need approval from partner.
  • Constant rescuing. Knight-in-shining-armour complex.
  • Fusion. Inability to endure separation. Clinging. Neediness for each other is proof of love for each other.
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  • Engages in sexual activity which create guilt, fear, insecurity, jealousy, possessiveness, shame, or a sense of pressure.
  • Relationship is characterized by hurts, suffocation, exhaustion, neediness, and conflicts.
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if the above points are descriptive of your relationship, please get help for yourself! you certainly deserve a relationship that's better for you.
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

... touch therapy for emotional awareness and healing ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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featured in abscbn's news program "bandila:" touch therapy for emotional awareness and healing.
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What is Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing?
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Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing is a form of hands-on, body focused psychotherapy for integrating the body, mind, emotions and spirit.
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Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing utilizes scientific, psychotherapeutic, ethical, artful, and respectful application of touch on the body.
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Through this type of touch, unresolved emotional experiences, forgotten memories, buried feelings, energy blockages, and unconscious attitudes that had been hidden within the body finally surface and get released.
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When clients become aware of the psychological and emotional issues hidden within their body, they become empowered to break free from the unconscious self-defeating patterns of their lives.
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Who can benefit from Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing?
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Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing is for anyone pursuing health and wellness.
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Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing is useful for a wide range of conditions which include the following:
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  • Those pursuing a path of self-discovery and personal growth
  • Those seeking emotional healing, integration, and wholeness
  • Those exploring the body-mind connection
  • Those seeking release from physical symptoms caused by or aggravated by emotional factors
  • Those suffering from stress, tension, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression.

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What happens during a session of Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing?
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The individual lies on a cushioned table, with minimal clothing, draped with a light blanket or sheet.
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The Touch Therapist applies gentle yet firm touch on different areas of the body such as the back, shoulders, chest, upper and lower abdomen, and extremities.
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After approximately 45 minutes, a brief discussion is made to process the experience.
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A complete Touch Therapy session lasts for an hour.
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What are the benefits of Touch Therapy for Emotional Healing?
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  • Greater physical relaxation
  • Greater emotional health
  • Deeper self-knowledge and self-awareness
  • Deeper re-connection to self and to others
  • More vitality, meaning, and joyfulness in life

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How many sessions are needed?
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It is recommended to have weekly sessions.
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For the maintenance of emotional health and wellness, weekly sessions are advised.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

... major depression in the philippines: therapy and treatment ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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what causes depression during the holidays? gma's medical advisory program "pinoy md" wanted my take on the matter.
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from the depressed people who consult me at my clinic, here's my list of causes:
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(1) physical distance from loved ones (e.g., ofws)
(2) break-ups with partners
(3) ongoing conflict with partner
(4) family misunderstandings
(5) death of loved one
(6) illness of loved one or of self
(7) memories of bad experiences/ trauma which happened in past christmas holidays
(8) looking back at the year that passed and deeming it unfruitful or unproductive
(9) financial hardship
(10) major depression
(11) seasonal affective disorder
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causes # 1-7 are "relational" in nature and are primarily managed through individual psychotherapy and relationship/ family counseling.
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causes # 8-9 are "pragmatic" in nature and are primarily managed through advice and coaching.
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cause # 10-11 are "biochemical" in nature and are primarily managed by anti-depressant treatment.
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Saturday, December 4, 2010

... exercises for the integration of body, mind, emotions, and spirit in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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as a certified body-mind fitness coach, i teach exercises which promote self-healing and the integration of body, mind, emotions, and spirit. these exercises have profound anti-aging, stress-relieving, and immune system-boosting effects. some of these exercises include:
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  • qigong - these simple exercises originated from ancient china. qigong requires a coordination of breath, movement, and visualization. qigong primarily targets the "meridian system" which, in traditional chinese medicine, is the ciruculatory system of "qi" or "life force energy." whenever there are blockages in the meridian system, illness and poor health occurs. qigong ensures a strong and healthy meridian system.
  • bioenergetics - developed by psychiatrist alexander lowen, bioenergetics includes a set of exercises for emotions which have been supressed and trapped within the body. medical research has proven that suppressed emotions cause many psycho-somatic illnesses such as asthma, migraine, allergies, sexual dysfunction, acne, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, and gastro-esophageal refux.

  • brain-balancing exercises - based on "brain gym" exercises, pranic yoga, hendrick's radiance exercises, and "neurobic" activities, these exercises are meant to integrate the left (logical) and right (creative) sides of the brain.
  • posture correction exercises - these involve stationary (passive) postures and active exercises meant to correct or prevent imbalances or distortions in our posture.
  • free-form movement and dance therapy - these exercises allow a personal expression of our emotions and inner state.
  • sayaw panalangin - this is a medley of filipino indigenous spiritual dances which use movements as a form of prayer.
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with all these life-enhancing body-mind exercises that abound, it's a pity to think that filipinos are familiar only with yoga and pilates.
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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

... life coach certification training workshop in the philippines ... (counselor, psychotherapy, psychology, psychiatry)

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unlike other coaching organizations which teach executive, business, or a generic form of coaching, the philippine society of life coaches (pslc) is the only institution in the philippines which specializes in life coach training. the pslc was established with the following mission:

  • to promote and ensure high professional and ethical standards in the practice and profession of Life Coaching in the Philippines, and
  • to develop a Filipino approach to Life Coaching and offer standardized training and supervision programs in the different fields of LIfe Coaching.

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the pslc recently concluded its final training program for 2010. again, it has produced a new batch of filipino life coaches. congratulations to the fresh graduates!
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let the photos below remind you of the journey you started and may you get inspired to continue growing in knowledge, skills, wisdom, and compassion..


lecturettes

demonstration

modeling

supervision and critiquing

practice sessions

practice sessions

practice sessions

practice sessions

practice sessions

case studies and group discussions

personal growth sessions

personal growth sessions


the dreaded examination!

special numbers

the new batch of life coaches!

life-long friends


the pslc team behind the scenes
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