i passed by Gary Lising's shop in Robinson's Galleria in search of some gadgets that might benefit my patients suffering from sexual dysfunction. i didn't find exactly what i wanted but i got the pleasure of meeting Mr. Gary again, who i bump into once in a while when i visit abs-cbn.
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intrigued by this hilarious guy, i researched on the internet about his life story and was pleased to find his autobiography. i hope you all get inspired by the heart-warming (?) details of his life! read below:
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My name is Gary Lising. Secretary of Health Juan Flavier once said that I have a very nice name -- for a disease.
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I was voted as the sex symbol of Assumption College because according to them, I am the only entertainer that looks like a sex organ.
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I weighed 48 pounds when I was born -- but weighed only 3 pounds after I was circumcised.
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I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album.
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I was a very thin baby because I was a breastfed baby -- I was breastfed by my father.
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I grew up to be a boy wonder -- everybody always looked at me and wondered.
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I studied at the Ateneo de Manila where I took up B.S. Economics. That explains why up to now I still am poor as ever.
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I went to the United States where I lived in the penthouse of a 50 story building. My rent was only 200 dollars a month. It was very cheap because it had no elevator.
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I was drafted by the U.S. Army but I got exempted because of my religion -- I am a devout coward.
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My father is Dr. Jose Lising, a bisexual -- every time he sees sex, he buys it.
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My mother Nieva Lising is a very religious woman -- she is a nun.
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My parents are in the iron and steel business. My mother irons and my father steals.
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I am married to Maris Paredes who up to now believes that love is really blind.
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I was voted as the sex symbol of Assumption College because according to them, I am the only entertainer that looks like a sex organ.
.
I weighed 48 pounds when I was born -- but weighed only 3 pounds after I was circumcised.
.
I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album.
.
I was a very thin baby because I was a breastfed baby -- I was breastfed by my father.
.
I grew up to be a boy wonder -- everybody always looked at me and wondered.
.
I studied at the Ateneo de Manila where I took up B.S. Economics. That explains why up to now I still am poor as ever.
.
I went to the United States where I lived in the penthouse of a 50 story building. My rent was only 200 dollars a month. It was very cheap because it had no elevator.
.
I was drafted by the U.S. Army but I got exempted because of my religion -- I am a devout coward.
.
My father is Dr. Jose Lising, a bisexual -- every time he sees sex, he buys it.
.
My mother Nieva Lising is a very religious woman -- she is a nun.
.
My parents are in the iron and steel business. My mother irons and my father steals.
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I am married to Maris Paredes who up to now believes that love is really blind.
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I also have a son, Bugsy, he's only five years old and he already knows how to be ashamed of me.
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I am also a firm believer in a lot of very serious facts of life. Let me share with you a few meaningful facts that I believe in:
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I BELIEVE...that if you read too much about the bad effects of smoking -- give up reading.
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I BELIEVE...Lolit Solis when she said that Mayor Lim was her former boyfriend.
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I BELIEVE...Mari Mar when she cried -- I saw tears running down her legs.
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GARY LISING, S.J.
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I am also a firm believer in a lot of very serious facts of life. Let me share with you a few meaningful facts that I believe in:
.
I BELIEVE...that if you read too much about the bad effects of smoking -- give up reading.
.
I BELIEVE...Lolit Solis when she said that Mayor Lim was her former boyfriend.
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I BELIEVE...Mari Mar when she cried -- I saw tears running down her legs.
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GARY LISING, S.J.
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Splendid! Gary's style and virtuosity in comedy was second to none. He always stupendously caricatured himself with originality which is for me is the mark of a true modern jester. Most comedians nowadays are like cheap trolls in the internet that delights in lambasting other people but Gary on that area has a different comical way to put someone in the spot without insulting. I salute you Mr. Gary, you are a rare breed indeed!
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