Tuesday, July 26, 2011

... relationship counseling: falling in love with a playboy ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

Anatomy of a Playboy
by Chit L. Lijauco (excerpts)
The Philippine Tatler: The Spirit of High Society

[Being a playboy] goes by many names. "The other terms would... be Don Juanism, promiscuity, sexual compulsion, love or sex addiction, etcetera, etcetera," says Dr. Randy Dellosa, psychiatrist-psychologist. The subject matter being referred to is man's preoccupation with women and predilection for sex that could cause him to be unfaithful to the relationship he is involved in.

Is one born a playboy or is he influenced into becoming one? The literature points to a composite of causes. Dellosa, who works with a lot of teenagers, leans towards the belief that men are naturally polygamous. "Our biological task is to reproduce and I believe we haven't really evolved that far from our ape ancestors," he says.

Genetics and modelling are also strong causes of playboyism. "You can attribute it to having a lot of testosterone which makes men, and women too, sexually aggressive. Meanwhile, some boys ... grow up in an environment where they see promiscuous behaviour around, maybe in their father or uncles. There is strong possibility these boys will take after them," says Dellosa.

Dellosa doubts that [playboys change after they get married]: What you get before marriage will worsen after marriage, generally speaking." Admitting that there may be exceptions to the rule, he's still in awe as to why women fall for men who they know are promiscuous.

Dr. Natividad Dayan has a fixed attitude towards philandering men. Handling so many annulment cases where infidelity is the number one cause, she's seen enough as to advise her women clients, "Keep away from this type of man, unless you're a masochist."

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