Friday, August 9, 2013

... YAHOO interview: The Chito-Neri Sex Video and other Video Scandals in the Philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Yahoo interview by Maridol Ranoa-Bismarck:

What drives couples to take private videos of their sex acts?

Many couples like taking private videos of their sex acts because it strengthens their commitment and passion for each other.  

Because guys get sexually turned on through visual stimulation, the sex videos make them more ‘horny’ towards their partner.  

As for females, they are just too happy to know that their partner fantasizes about them instead of other girls, making them feel sexually attractive and thus enhancing the intimacy in their relationship. 

Private sex videos serve as mementos or souvenirs of the couple's special time together, just like a husband might take a video of his wife delivering their baby.   

Will this affect Chito and Neri’s respective careers?  Why or why not?

Their respective careers will only get damaged if they allow it to happen.  Chito and Neri have to remember that many other celebrities have had their share of scandals and controversies and most were successfully able to rise above them.  In fact, all they need to do is just wait for the next celebrity scandal to catch the public’s attention before the focus on them fades. 

In the meantime, since the spotlight is on them, Chito and Neri should actually take it as an opportunity to advance their respective careers.  Chito should continue creating more songs to add to his legacy as a musician, and Neri should continue improving her craft as an artist.  If they are able to get people awed by their talent and artistic contributions, the impact of the scandal will just fade from the public’s consciousness. 

Is the shame/suffering of a woman different from a man in this case?

It is always the woman who suffers the greater brunt in a sexual mishap.  Women are quickly likened to prostitutes and are easily judged as having loose morals, lack of breeding, or a dysfunctional childhood. 

For men however, a double standard is applied to them. Men are outwardly castigated for their sexual indiscretions but may be secretly admired and envied by other men for their sexual prowess. 

Do you think their bond as sweethearts will lessen the shame Chito and Neri are feeling and help them get over the negative effects of the scandal?

Even if Chito and Neri were married, the video leakage would still make them suffer from utter shame and embarrasment.  The fact is that a video clip which was just meant for the private enjoyment of this quiet couple is now available for worldwide consumption through the web.  

Since they are victims, will they get public sympathy as well?

Despite being victims of the video leakage, the couple will certainly get cruel flak from people with high morals and those who display crab mentality.  

It is interesting to note though that the people who strongly criticize the victimized couple are the very ones who eagerly searched for and scrutinized the video instead of flatly ignoring or refusing to watch the video knowing that it had sexual content. 

Also, there are those who believe that the only way for Chito to rectify the matter and restore Neri’s dignity is to marry her as soon as possible.   However, this is a simplistic solution. It is never good to decide on marriage during a period of crisis.  An “accident” should not be corrected with a “mistake.”  In Chito and Neri’s case, the video leakage will not be rectified by a rash decision to get married.  

How can people around them help the couple and their respective family members thru the widespread embarrassment they are facing?

What the victimized couple needs now is compassion and encouragement rather than judgment and criticism.  The couple should focus on making their respective careers flourish.  They do not need to defend themselves for being victims of a scandal.  And perhaps their best course of action is to keep mum about the issue until it dies a natural death. 

1 comment:

  1. I think you give objective and wise counsel to the couple and people around them who care. Your words are constructive and edifying for the parties involved. I hope this blog post reaches them. Thank you for sharing your words of compassion and wisdom, on actions to be taken to rise up from an unfortunate setback, rather than wallowing in shame and regret. Prayers also go out to the couple, that they learn the important lessons from this experience, and seek truth and enlightenment about relationship and intimacy that does not degrade the moral integrity of either person in the relationship. I recommend reading up or watching videos on Theology of the Body.