Thursday, January 21, 2010

... how far should a mother's love go?: the psychology of marlene aguilar-pollard and jason ivler ... (philippines, psychotherapist, psychiatrist)

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nikko dizon of philippine daily inquirer interviewed me on marlene aguilar-pollard and jason ivler.
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she wanted to know how far a mother's love should go and whether marlene's act of hiding her son was the right thing to do?
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i told nikko that ideally, mother's love should be limitless and unconditional. however, love can be expressed in both healthy and unhealthy ways.
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there is nothing wrong in being a self-sacrificing and protective mother. in fact, marlene is exemplary in being a mother with those traits. however, marlene's instinct to protect jason falls short because she fails to protect him from being a threat to himself and to others. instead, she tolerates her son's sociopathic behaviors, fails to get professional help for him, rescues him from the consequences of his own mistakes, and denies that he has a problem.
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despite her unlawful behaviour, i wouldn't go so far as to accuse marlene of being a bad person. who knows? marlene might be (ignorantly) acting in the best way she thinks a mother should act. what is clear though is that after the dust has settled, marlene and jason need intensive and long-term psychological help.
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