Saturday, January 23, 2010

... article on marlene aguilar and jason ivler ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

She ‘Displays Exemplary Unconditional Love’ But ...
by Nikko Dizon
Philippine Daily Inquirer (excerpt)
First Posted 02:01:00 01/22/2010
MANILA, Philippines—Marlene Aguilar may take a thousand bullets for her son, as she has declared, but psychologists say a mother should also find a way for her child to take responsibility for his actions.
. An objective view of Aguilar’s actions would show that “to some degree, her actions were an exemplary, commendable display of unconditional love,” according to Randy Dellosa, a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist.
“There was a willingness to sacrifice herself and to protect her loved one,” Dellosa said, noting the “enmeshed relationship” between the mother and son.

“[Sadly however], there was also a high tolerance for inappropriate behavior, and even an act of covering up for it... It’s something like a negatively dependent relationship. They need each other... where the mother is the rescuer of her son who needs rescuing,” he said.
. “A mother’s love should be limitless,” Dellosa explained. “But it doesn’t mean condoning the child’s mistakes because helping or getting help for the child, imposing disciplinary actions on him, is also a sign of limitless love.”

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