... manila bulletin: it’s all about me, me, me! ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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IT''S ALL ABOUT ME, ME, ME!

(article excerpts)

by Jaser A. Marasigan

August 11, 2009, 8:17pm

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They communicate differently from the rest of us – walking around and crossing the streets with ears plugged, texting, tweeting. Camwhores is how they self-effacingly call themselves. With the latest mobile phones, they love taking pictures of themselves, either happily alone or with friends. They often hang out with friends at a coffee shop, talking about the fun weekend they had, their future aspirations, loves and relationships.

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Young people today are being portrayed as self-centered zombies who care more about their iPods. Expected to be highly tech-savvies, they text, e-mail, IM, play online games, surf the net, go on Facebook or Friendster, call on the latest mobile phones, and watch TV, all done simultaneously more often than not.

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ALL ABOUT ME

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According to Jean Twenge, the author of “Generation Me” and “The Narcissism Epidemic” (with W. Keith Campbell), today’s young people think they are so special, where in fact, they are not. Although they have become more confident and assertive, they have also turned themselves into a narcissistic and self-centered generation.

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SELF-EXPRESSION

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Filipino psychologist Dr. Randy Dellosa, on the other hand, considers this behavior as more of self-expression rather than narcissism.

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“When we say narcissistic, it’s more of self-absorption, more of one’s self becoming the center more than anyone else. I would call it more of trying to define one’s self,” he explains.

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Dellosa traces this back to the 1960’s when people would be getting out of convention and defining themselves apart from the convention.

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“I guess what’s different now is that this generation is presented with new opportunities, resources, and avenues for self-expression and self-definition.” He agrees that technology is a factor and is considered as one, if not, the most popular resources for self-expression.
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“There’s the Internet and cellphones. There are websites that promote these opportunities like blog sites and YouTube,” Dr. Dellosa adds.

.He also thinks that this trend is more evident today because Filipinos have been repressed for so long. There were expectations to conform and not to speak up. “Historically, nandun na rin yung martial law, which was very repressive and pushed for conformity. After the 1980’s, nung nawala na si Marcos doon nag-boom yung opportunities for self-expression,” he relates.

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It also ties up with what’s happening economically. Parents are leaving as OFWs and children are being left on their own. And so the need for acceptance and belongingness is going to be met from outside of the family, so they will turn to their friends. Posting themselves on these sites and then receiving acceptance, that’s an opportunity to get the acceptance that they need,” Dr. Dellosa continues.
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CLONES AND WANNABES
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Both sociologist Dr. Josephine Aguilar-Placido and Dr. Dellosa agree that the young people of today may pride themselves in being part of the Me Generation, but in truth, they are actually turning into clones of each other. The “Me Generation” is defining themselves in relation to fads. By being like somebody else, they think they are being themselves.

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Assuming that these kids’ parents are not around for them, Dellosa thinks that the schools should step up as they need to have greater awareness of this issue.
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“As long as they’re incomplete inside, they’ll try to conform to others. They are emotionally incomplete and psychologically insecure. They should work on their self-growth and on being complete unto themselves so they won’t have to copy others. They should be content inside and with who they really are,” says Dellosa.

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