... gestalt therapy growth group: live the questions now! ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

angel and bart, medical students of the u.p. college of medicine, drop by for a session on gestalt therapy.

one theme which we tackled today was about being at a crossroads in one's life and not knowing which direction to take.  

for those of you feeling confused, i would like to share with you this quote from the poetess maria rilke:  

"... have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves .... Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."  

- Maria Rilke, 1903, in Letters to a Young Poet

i hope maria rilke and i have inspired you a bit today.  God bless you all! :D 

... the GREAT Group: Support Group for Friends with Social Anxiety Disorder ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

what inspires me most about the GREAT group is that its members are dedicated to get out of their shells to pursue personal growth and attain their fullest human potential.  

established by mother hen chevlenz buena, the GREAT group meets occasionally to make new acquaintances, to deepen existing friendships, to share stories, to give encouragement to one another, to learn new ways of coping with stress and anxiety, and to have fun.

one of the rewards of the support group meetings is the camaraderie built through the growth activities.  to pixie, tonton, blessie, mimi, and giselle, til we meet again, God bless us all! :D    

... gestalt therapy growth group: sunog! sunog! ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

love nagpala and ronald miranda, both doctors-to-be from the u.p. college of medicine, dropped by for an experience of gestalt therapy.

the theme that emerged from today's growth activity was on "self-nurture and self-care."  many of the roles we play in life require us to take care of other people.  however, in putting the need of others ahead of ours, we place ourselves at the risk of burning out.  

what comes to my mind is this verse in the bible which says, "love others as you love yourself."  it is a verse that implies self-love as a pre-requisite for loving others.  we simply cannot give what we do not have.  and we cannot fully give what we ourselves are deficient in.  

just to put this "preaching" into practice, ronald and i decided to do cranio-sacral therapy on love nagpala, whose stream has run a little dry from helping others.  notice her delight as she gets recharged! :D

... gestalt therapy growth group activity: puno na punong-puno ng snakes ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist , quezon city, manila, philippines)

after a long while, i facilitated a gestalt growth group activity for some wonderful students from the u.p. college of medicine students- hadi mahammad-isa, sheryl manalili, kris mangunay, patricia nacienceno, and christine olivar.  

in processing the growth group activity, a lot of themes came up.  of all the themes, what struck me the most was the theme about the "little snakes on the road."  these snakes are those little problems or challenges in life that I'm still able to run away from.  

but then, at the dead end of the road i'm treading, I come face to face with this "tree full of snakes," and this time, there is no recourse but for me to confront what I've evaded and feared for so long.

what i love about gestalt therapy growth groups is that it enriches everyone.  i may play the role of facilitator, but i am as much a student of life as the participants in the group are.  so to hadi, sheryl, kris, patricia, and christine,  thank you so much for life lessons I've learned from you. 

... psychology of the chakras at ripples bookstore, robinsons galleria ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

it was a wonderful time i had at ripples bookstore, robinsons galleria, having a discussion group on the topic "psychology of the chakras:  letting go of emotional baggage that block your energy centers."  the participants were all very enthusiastic as well as honest in asking questions and in sharing their life stories.  i felt as if i learned as much from them as they did from me.

in the 1950s, an eminent psychologist by the name of abraham maslow identified a hierarchy of basic human needs which he explained had to be satisfied before a person could experience a state of self-transcendence. for maslow, self-transcendence occurs after the following needs are met in sequential order:  physiological needs --> safety needs --> belongingness needs --> esteem needs --> self-actualization.

four thousand years before abraham maslow, the ancient people of india already had an equivalent hierarchy found in the chakra system of their yogic tradition.  their sequence goes as follows:  survival and self-preservation needs --> sexuality and self-gratification needs --> power and self-definition needs --> love and self-acceptance needs --> communication and self-expression needs -->  intuition and self-reflection needs --> spirituality and self-knowledge needs.  when the lower needs are unmet or are not fully satisfied, they become psychological obstacles in attaining the ultimate goal of the yogic system which is union with God.

maslow's hierarchy of needs and the chakra system are reminders for us that we need to deal with the physical, emotional, and mental baggage in the different aspects of our lives so that we can reach our fullest human and spiritual potential.

... Gestalt Therapy growth group activity: the evil eye in the sky ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

friends from the u.p. college of medicine- jonas bico, marge bocaya, franco catangui, rona abad, marvyn chan, and bon buno, dropped by for a sharing session.  

marge shared a story about receiving some message of doom as she was watching tv. and just to make sure that it nothing ominous was going to happen, she checked by looking out her window.  on ground level, there was nothing extra-ordinary but when she looked up, her attention was caught by an array of colors splashed in the sky.  to her surprise, she saw an image of an eye in the midst of the colors.  hmmm...

the rest of the guys talked about themselves:


marvyn:  i'm the type of person who just rides the waves and goes with the flow.


rona:  as a doctor, i'm like a bringer of bad news when i tell patients about their diagnosis.


bon:  people perceive me as a conventional type of person.  they haven't met the adventurous and wild side to my personality.


franco:  i catch people's attention because i have a identical twin brother who is my exact opposite in character.  

well, they didn't only share with me their stories, three of them were sick of the common cold and they were nice enough to share that with me, too!  (joke)  

... Gestalt Therapy growth group activity: gumuho ang aking mundo habang namimili sa divisoria ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

when we least expect, our world sometimes just crumbles down on us, leaving us confused, disillusioned, angry, sad, or afraid.  

we may get emotionally knocked out for a while, but when we start coming to our senses, what else can we do but to slowly pick ourselves up, shake the dust off ourselves, take our shaky first steps, and get moving again.   

a world that's crumbled down only offers us the opportunity to create a new one- a world that's hopefully better, more joyful, and more meaningful.

here are friends from universidad de manila: 

kc santos, wats watanabe, berlin perales, marielle paraiso, and charmaine bilan.  

... Gestalt Therapy growth group activity: malaking ahas na nilulon ng arowana sa aquarium ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

student doctors from the u.p. college of medicine visited my place to get a taste of gestalt psychotherapy. 

we did an activity which generated a number of issues:


> we need to step up to the challenges of life. -(tonicci/ jayson)


> we need to ask for help when we feel afraid and helpless. -(julie)


> we may be harboring a seething anger within that seeks to destroy. -(nico)


> despite feeling small and vulnerable, we need to have a confidence that we can overcome the hurdles of life. -(patrick)

well, to cap off our meeting, we (Jayson Panganiban, Patrick See, Tonicci Paulino, and Julie Reyes) did some tuning fork therapy on Nico Rogelio to revitalize him after playing a very convincing portrayal of an angry slithering snake in our gestalt activity.

we all wondered how he ever learned to play that part so well! :D

... personality disorders in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

today, anna maria, anelie samson, mia tabangcora, gemelyn paz, dgie santos, john carl gerez, sarah sepillo, ar-ar crawford -- all psychology students from new era university, and i had a discussion on personality disorders.  


people with personality disorders are stand-outs in a crowd because of their prominent traits.  in a way, just like cartoon characters, they are "caricatures"  because they have one fixed and exaggerated "style" in dealing with people and situations.  


check out the personality disorders below.  i'm sure you've encountered people with personality disorders.  in fact, before anyone else, first check yourself out.  you may have a personality disorder yourself!

o   The distrustful/suspicious type:  Paranoid personality disorder

o   The aloof introvert/loner type:  Schizoid personality disorder

o   The eccentric/odd type:  Schizotypal personality disorder

o   The sociopathic/unlawful type:  Antisocial personality disorder

o   The emotionally intense/unstable/unpredictable type:  Borderline personality disorder

o   The flamboyant/theatrical/seductive type:  Histrionic personality disorder

o   The conceited/egotistical type:  Narcissistic personality disorder

o   The perfectionist/overly-organized type:  Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

o   The extremely shy/socially-inept type:  Avoidant personality disorder

o   The clingy/insecure type:  Dependent personality disorder

o   The inefficient/overly laid-back type:  Passive-aggressive personality disorder

... Gestalt Therapy growth group activity: shadow boxing one's self ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

"beating one's self up" is an idiom which means "being overly critical of one's own flaws, shortcomings, or weaknesses."  

first of all, we need to evaluate whether the flaws, shortcomings, or weaknesses we think we have are real, imaginary, or merely exaggerated. and for whatever reason we beat ourselves up, the important thing is to make a plan for overcoming these flaws.  


what comes to mind is the well-known poem by theologian  Reinhold Niebuhr entitled "The Serenity Prayer."  It goes like this:  

God grant me 
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

this is a beautiful prayer and i hope that it guides and inspires you to live life fully and meaningfully.


up and coming doctors from u.p.college of medicine-- laya zamora, clare toledo, godfrey torres, yen waga, april tagayona, and zie versoza learn life lessons while simultaneously having fun: