... gma jessica soho's SONA: depression? it's not enough to talk to friends ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Depressed? It's not enough to just talk to friends

By LIAN BUAN, GMA NewsJuly 13, 2013 12:35pm

Twenty-six-year-old Mar Elizer "Eli" Rodriguez is a spiritual leader. He's someone to go to for guidance when one feels lost or confused. He supposedly has the answers.

It turns out he doesn't. 

Last year, Eli felt the first symptoms of depression. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate at work, and didn't feel like getting out of bed. His initial reaction was denial.

"Ironic nga kasi pastor ako, tapos nagtuturo ka ng patungkol sa buhay, meaning sa buhay. Tapos ako mismo nakaramdam noon," Eli said. "Hindi ko matanggap, e."

Eli could not recall how and when it started. But he remembers not wanting to go to work the next day and feeling sick of the routine. He then decided to take a leave from office.

Fortunately for Eli, he was working at a psychiatric facility that offered free services to its employees. Through this, Eli gained the courage to tell his colleagues, and eventually his boss, that he was experiencing a certain kind of sadness—the type that could not be cured by a trip to the cinema or a chat with friends.

"Parang nakaramdam ako nung feeling na ayaw mo nang umandar 'yung buhay. Gusto mo nang tumigil. Parang gusto mo lang humiga. Tapos umabot pa sa point na paano kaya kung wakasan 'yung buhay," Eli said, also clarifying he did not attempt suicide.

Eli was diagnosed with major depression and subsequently underwent psychotherapy.

Depression: a definition

Dr. Randy Dellosa, owner and resident psychiatrist at the Quezon City facility where Eli works, said that the main problem of how depression is addressed in the Philippines is that people have a difficult time detecting it.

"People confuse depression for normal sadness," said Dellosa. 

Dellosa explained sadness as fleeting. "Temporary siya (sadness) and hindi nagiging sagabal sa pamumuhay."
 

Dellosa further explained that clinical depression is a neurochemical imbalance, which is treated with either psychotherapy (counseling) or by anti-depressants.
 

Depression is a state of mind that afflicts even the happiest of people, people like Eli.
 

The Filipino tendency is to associate depression with traumatic events like death in the family, natural tragedy, heartbreak, and the like, when in fact, depression can occur even without the trigger of trauma.

Sometimes, depression can be an offshoot of medical problems such as hypothyroidism and heart problems, according to Dellosa. 

Lacking in psychiatrists, funds

According to World Health Organization (WHO), only one out of three Filipinos suffering from depression will seek the help of a specialist. The second will opt not to see a doctor and the third will go on living unaware of his/her condition.

This is important to note, as the latter two types of depressed persons number among those who have committed suicide.

The Department of Health (DOH) stated in its health statistics from the year 2000 that the incidence of intentional self-harm among Filipinos is 1.8 per 100,000 population.

Apart from the fact that not everybody can afford treatment, psychiatrists are also in want in the Philippines. According to the latest data from the Philippine Psychiatric Association, there are only 450 psychiatrists in the Philippines. WHO data shows there are 4.5 million depressed Filipinos, the highest in Southeast Asia.

That translates to an average of one psychiatrist attending to 10,000 patients.

NGO efforts

The gap is partially filled by non-profit organizations providing services for the depressed.

One of the most prominent mental health advocacy groups in the country is the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF), named after Natasha Goulbourn, who according to her mother, fashion designer Jean Goulbourn, on the foundation's website," died in 2002 at the age of 27 after a bout with depression." 

Goulbourn is currently serving as the president of the organization.
 

Mrs. Goulbourn told this author she didn't need to tell the story of Natasha anymore, not because she didn't want to, but because she felt that she reached a period where we should be demanding the government for action instead of dwelling on heart-wrenching stories.

"It has to start with the Department of Health. Kailangan [tumulong] sila because they are the ministry of the country. They should give us direction sa buong nation kung ano ang dapat gawin," Goulbourn said.

For her part, NGF launched "Hopeline" last year, the first ever suicide hotline in the Philippines. 

As of the moment, Hopeline has 12 trained personnel taking calls day in, day out. They were trained prior to the launch and undergo re-briefing every month.

"Para maturuan sila how to handle depression, a trained expert that can at least listen, they need someone to listen to them," Goulbourn added.

Goulbourn stressed that depressed people need to talk to someone who knows how to handle their condition. 

'It's not enough to talk to friends'

In the Philippines, when someone goes to us to say they're depressed, we usually answer back with a casual, "Ikain mo lang yan!" or "Iinom mo lang yan." Sometimes, the more understanding peer will tell the person, "Usap tayo."

But it is not enough to talk to friends. Friends do not know the science of what may be going on in your brain; despite their purest and sincerest intentions, they may not be able to help you.

"The problem with talking to a friend is they're not therapists. If you keep on telling them your problems, they'll tire out eventually," Dellosa said. "Psychotherapists are professional friends. They know how to create compassionate distance and they'll be neutral, objective, and help the depressed person."

With Hopeline, pamphlets, posters, internet campaign and more, NGF hopes to make this country more aware of depression, especially since the concept of it is still lost to many and the image of depression remains that of a crazy person locked behind grills at the back of your house.

Government action

Former DOH Secretary Manuel Dayrit ordered the Mental Health policy in 2001. In 2007, Dr. Francisco Duque, then Health Chief, issued another order. Fast forward to 2012 and Dr. Jasmin Peralta, head of the agency's Special Concerns Division, told this author they were still amending the order.

The thing they're lacking, Peralta said, is research.

"Pero para maipatupad ang mga research natin, kailangan natin ng pondo," Peralta said. 

Perhaps, Peralta suggested, there is also a lack of support from interest groups. She said that the reason the country has progressed in terms of researching about the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and implementing programs to address it is because support from international organizations poured in.

The same thing cannot be said about depression, according to Peralta.

DOH has a proposed solution for this: pass a Mental Health Act.

According to Peralta, the country needs a definitive law so it is clear where the funding will come from and which agencies will be responsible for implementing policies.

Peralta noted that depression is currently just a clause in laws such as R.A 1965 or the Dangerous Drug Act—given that depression is either a cause or result of substance and drug addiction.

In the meantime, DOH has in place barangay-level programs wherein health officers will be trained how to handle depression cases.

"'Yung mga health providers natin sa mga barangay or sa LGU, sila mismo at their end e makita na nila na may mga sintomas. On their end, puwede na silang mag-counseling," Peralta said.

First World problem?

In a country of happy people, it seems like no one has the right to be sad.

In a country of poor people, it's even a worse crime to say "there's something wrong with the chemicals in my brain" when there are millions of people who complain of having no food in their stomach.

"Between feeding them and nourishing their stomach, that question is very challenging," Goulbourn said. "You can nourish the body, but if the brain is not nourished, even the body cannot absorb that."

In 2004, WHO announced that by 2030, depression will become the largest contributor to the world's disease burden. Psychiatrists, interest groups, and the DOH agree that, as with other diseases, prevention is the key.

And, just like with other disease, a healthy lifestyle is what's needed.

"People should have a strong knowledge of what food and nutrients to give to handle the chemical imbalance. And the lifestyle habits, exercise is the best, the oxygen for the brain is running and walking two hours a day," Goulbourn said.

The Institute of Optimum Nutrition in the United Kingdom has the following in its list of mood-enhancing foods: chocolates, strawberries, ice cream, pasta, French bread, bananas, grapes, oranges, nuts and sesame seeds.

"This is a silent killer," Goulbourn said.

And it's time we talk about it, time we move the authorities to do something about it so that we are prepared when it comes silently, in the dead of night. — VC/KG, GMA News

This story first appeared as a television report on GMA News TV's "State of the Nation" with Jessica Soho, produced and researched by Lian Buan and Marj Casal.

... solar news: filipino expert gives tips on spotting a bomber ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Filipino expert gives tips on spotting a bomber

By Pia Bonalos

  

Baseball caps, hoodies, and backpacks – these are things people wear every day. These were also the apparel of choice of the two suspects in the Boston Marathon bombings.

Randy Dellosa, a clinical psychologist, physician, and psychiatrist, explained that bombers try blend in with everybody else, making them difficult to spot in a crowd.

Dellosa added there are three types of bombers:

*Propagators of political or religious ideas

*Copycat bombers or those who get curious and adventurous with bombs

*Sociopaths, or people with criminal instincts.

"However, there are some people have experienced injustice, and it's a way of revenge for them, to get back," Dellosa said. "Some are militant about faith or about their political parties, they want to establish themselves as superior. So that's one way way to assert superiority."

He said there are telltale signs if a person is susceptible to such crimes.

These include:

*people who figured in school bullying;

*those who suddenly adopt a dark or gloomy aura;

*those who are easily angered or depressed;

*those who develop interpersonal conflicts in school or at home; and

*those who acquire sudden interest in weapons, fundamentalist faiths, or militant organizations.

He said sociopaths show no sudden changes in personality. But a good predictor for them is their track record in school or at work that could show a history of violent behavior.

"In fact, kailangan niya ng [they need a] forensic psychologist or psychiatrist," Dellosa said. "Kasi kahit [Because even] regular psychologists or psychiatrists might not be able to handle such a person. The psychiatrist or psychologist will have to get inside their criminal mind."

Dellosa said these profiles can be found across cultures, gender, and ages.

He said there's always hope for anyone with such dark predispositions. And while some may need more help than others, the presence of a person who is willing to listen may make a difference.

... YAHOO interview: The Chito-Neri Sex Video and other Video Scandals in the Philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Yahoo interview by Maridol Ranoa-Bismarck:

What drives couples to take private videos of their sex acts?

Many couples like taking private videos of their sex acts because it strengthens their commitment and passion for each other.  

Because guys get sexually turned on through visual stimulation, the sex videos make them more ‘horny’ towards their partner.  

As for females, they are just too happy to know that their partner fantasizes about them instead of other girls, making them feel sexually attractive and thus enhancing the intimacy in their relationship. 

Private sex videos serve as mementos or souvenirs of the couple's special time together, just like a husband might take a video of his wife delivering their baby.   

Will this affect Chito and Neri’s respective careers?  Why or why not?

Their respective careers will only get damaged if they allow it to happen.  Chito and Neri have to remember that many other celebrities have had their share of scandals and controversies and most were successfully able to rise above them.  In fact, all they need to do is just wait for the next celebrity scandal to catch the public’s attention before the focus on them fades. 

In the meantime, since the spotlight is on them, Chito and Neri should actually take it as an opportunity to advance their respective careers.  Chito should continue creating more songs to add to his legacy as a musician, and Neri should continue improving her craft as an artist.  If they are able to get people awed by their talent and artistic contributions, the impact of the scandal will just fade from the public’s consciousness. 

Is the shame/suffering of a woman different from a man in this case?

It is always the woman who suffers the greater brunt in a sexual mishap.  Women are quickly likened to prostitutes and are easily judged as having loose morals, lack of breeding, or a dysfunctional childhood. 

For men however, a double standard is applied to them. Men are outwardly castigated for their sexual indiscretions but may be secretly admired and envied by other men for their sexual prowess. 

Do you think their bond as sweethearts will lessen the shame Chito and Neri are feeling and help them get over the negative effects of the scandal?

Even if Chito and Neri were married, the video leakage would still make them suffer from utter shame and embarrasment.  The fact is that a video clip which was just meant for the private enjoyment of this quiet couple is now available for worldwide consumption through the web.  

Since they are victims, will they get public sympathy as well?

Despite being victims of the video leakage, the couple will certainly get cruel flak from people with high morals and those who display crab mentality.  

It is interesting to note though that the people who strongly criticize the victimized couple are the very ones who eagerly searched for and scrutinized the video instead of flatly ignoring or refusing to watch the video knowing that it had sexual content. 

Also, there are those who believe that the only way for Chito to rectify the matter and restore Neri’s dignity is to marry her as soon as possible.   However, this is a simplistic solution. It is never good to decide on marriage during a period of crisis.  An “accident” should not be corrected with a “mistake.”  In Chito and Neri’s case, the video leakage will not be rectified by a rash decision to get married.  

How can people around them help the couple and their respective family members thru the widespread embarrassment they are facing?

What the victimized couple needs now is compassion and encouragement rather than judgment and criticism.  The couple should focus on making their respective careers flourish.  They do not need to defend themselves for being victims of a scandal.  And perhaps their best course of action is to keep mum about the issue until it dies a natural death. 

... YAHOO OMG: The Chito and Neri Sex Scandal ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Psychologist says Chito and Neri can survive scandal
By Maridol Rañoa-Bismark | Yahoo! Southeast Asia Newsroom – 18 hours ago

You must be hiding under a rock if you haven't heard of the video that has laid bare Parokya ni Edgar frontman Chito Miranda and grilfriend Neri naig's most intimate moments.  The video has been the subject of many articles and discussions among netizens.  

Chito has spoken up, not only in defense of Neri, but of their relationship.

“Hindi ninyo kami matitinag,” he told the person who he thinks ‘stole’ the hard drive bearing the video.

But what’s been done is done.  The damage is there.  The question is, how will Chito and Neri move on?

Psychologist and life coach Dr. Randy Dellosa has good news for the beleaguered couple.

“Their respective careers will only get damaged if they allow it to happen.  Chito and Neri have to remember that many other celebrities have had their share of scandals and controversies and most were successfully able to rise above them.  In fact, all they need to do is just wait for the next celebrity scandal to catch the public’s attention before the focus on them fades.”

Dellosa adds that Chito and Neri can actually turn the tide in their favor.

“Since the spotlight is on them, Chito and Neri should actually take it as an opportunity to advance in their respective careers.  Chito should continue creating more songs to add to his legacy as a musician, and Neri should continue improving her craft as an artist.  If they are able to get people awed by their talent and artistic contributions, the impact of the scandal will just fade from the public’s consciousness. “

Sadly, however, the much of the burden lies on Neri’s shoulders. Dellosa notes that women “are quickly likened to prostitutes and are easily judged as having loose morals, lack of breeding, or a dysfunctional childhood.”

Double standard

The double standard still persists, he observes. Men may be outwardly castigated for their sexual indiscretions but they are also secretly admired and envied by other men for their sexual prowess.

Dellosa also finds it interesting that the very people who lash out on Chito and Neri are the ones who eagerly scrutinize the sex video. Instead of ignoring the video, these holier-than-thous spend a lot of time taking it all in.

More public scrutiny, however, is the last thing Chito and Neri need at this crisis point in their lives.  What they need, states Dellosa, is compassion and encouragement.

And, contrary to what Chito thinks, he need not defend Neri as a victim of the scandal.

“Perhaps their best course of action is to keep mum about the issue until it dies a natural death,” states Dellosa.

Marriage at this point is out of the question, since it just might worsen the problem.

“It is never good to decide on marriage during a period of crisis.  An ‘accident’ should not be corrected with a ‘mistake.’ In Chito and Neri’s case, the video leakage will not be rectified by a rash decision to get married,” the psychologist explains.

Besides, he adds, this will not lessen the embarrassment and shame the leaked video has created.

Lesson learned

As they say in showbiz – and this holds true in other fields as well – the impact of Chito and Neri’s sex scandal will fade once a new controversy erupts.  The couple is now in the eye of the storm because no bigger showbiz issue has cropped up.

Until then, Chito and Neri should hold on, let the storm pass, and learn their lesson.  They should remember that guarding their privacy at all costs could spare them a lot of sleepless nights and negative posts in theirs – and others’ – social media accounts.

It’s a costly lesson, but it’s something they can profit a lot from.