... hypoactive sexual desire disorder ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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justine tajonera interviewed me for her upcoming article in smart parenting. topic: hypoactive sexual desire disorder. this is a condition which many clients actually consult me about.

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"hypoactive desire" may mean two things: either the client is lacking in sexual urges or, the client is averse or phobic to sexual activity.

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having a lack of sexual desire is not necessarily abnormal. some people are more sexual than others and in fact, i've met people who are totally asexual, that is, not having even a wee bit trace of libido. when a couple is both hyposexual, then hyposexuality is not a problem. it only becomes problematic if the couple experiences a mismatch in their levels of sexual urges. with this mismatch, you can be sure that marital conflict abounds.

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i don't want this to be a spoiler, so this is as much as i'll write. if you're interested in more information about hyposexuality, wait for justine's article in smart parenting... soon to come out!
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... applied psychology conference at u.p. pampanga ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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i was tasked to do be a reactor at the applied psychology conference in u.p. pampanga. the topic was on current trends which i observed in my own clinical practice as a psychotherapist. some of the observations i shared were as follows:

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in the recent years, i've been receiving younger clientele, particularly college students and young adults who consult me unaccompanied by their parents or guardians. the problems for which they consult me for are problems which, a decade ago, i would only hear from mid-lifers and older people. (yes, the younger generation has become THAT complicated!) i have to be in touch with different subcultures and alternative lifestyles because the clients who consult me come from very diverse backgrounds (e.g., emos, goths, cosplayers, surfer dudes, wiccans, gender benders, etc.). but no matter what changes the times have brought, all my clients still need their basic needs met: the need to be listened to, the need to be accepted, and the need to be understood.

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one of the perks of being a speaker is meeting all sorts of interesting and intelligent people and u.p. pampanga was certainly not lacking in them.

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... the first pinoy supermodel ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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well, guess who bumped into me... none other than the first ever pinoy international supermodel rocky salumbides.

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just to let you know what he's achieved, this former balut vendor/ construction worker was 3rd runner up in the 2004 Best Model of the World contest held in istanbul, turkey. he also won the 2004 Best Male Model of MTV Fashionista.

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what makes rocky admirable is that despite his awards and his being the favorite model of international fashion designers, rocky remains humble, down-to-earth, and unpretentious. he certainly is a guy with a demeanor to emulate!

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... transphobia on a reality tv show?... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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ms. marie lozano of tv patrol dropped by my clinic to interview me about the alleged discrimination against a transexual housemate of a reality tv show.

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reportedly, the transexual housemate was being referred to by co-housemates with names such as "she-man," "half-half," "samson and delilah," and "two-in-one."

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i explained that such behavior is not necessarily "transphobia (defined as "the discriminatory treatment of transgender individuals)" and the words they used are not necessarily derogatory. one likely possibility is that the housemates simply have limited vocabulary and do not have the politically-correct descriptors for their transgender co-housemate. in the first place, they might not even know that the word "transexual" exists.

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if indeed the housemates were discriminatory, it would be more helpful to educate them about transexualism than to condemn them for how they behaved.

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also, i explained to ms. marie that all of us have personal biases and harbor some discriminatory thoughts. what's important is (1) that such biases are not acted upon, (2) that such biases are not imposed on others, and hopefully (3) that there is an attempt to eradicate such thoughts and attitudes.

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lastly, i gave a reminder for viewers of the show to watch their own reactions, lest they display the same negative attitudes and behaviors for which they faulted the housemates.

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... counseling for transgendered, transexual, and gender-variant persons in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychiatrist)

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i met sharon for a counseling session this afternoon and she told me her story.
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as a kid growing up, she didn't have much care in the world. but as soon as puberty hit her, she fell into a deep crisis about her sexual identity. she became severely disturbed by the mismatch between her masculine mentality and her feminine appearance. for her, nature had played a dirty trick on her by making her a "man trapped in a woman's body."
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in order to halt the development of female sexual characteristics, she resorted to extreme dieting which made her frail and sickly in the process. years later, as she researched on the internet, she discovered that what she considered as her "affliction" had a name-- it was a condition known as "transexuality."
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this afternoon, sharon sought consultation with me for the very reason that she was ready to come to terms with her transexual self. she was ready to let go of the emotional baggage that had burdened her through the years.
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through individual counseling and group therapy with other transexuals, i hope to assist her well in her journey towards personal healing, growth, and wholeness.
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... maintaining long distance relationships ...

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just did an interview for the TFC program "kwentong disyerto." the topic was on maintaining relationships across the miles. the crew was a friendly bunch and because of their apparent dedication to helping filipino migrant workers and their families, this brief interview was all the more engaging to do.

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first of all, i stressed in the interview the fact that couples separated by long distance are vulnerable to a number of problems which include loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts; jealousy and insecurity; infidelity; lessening intimacy; quarrels and conflicts.

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given these risks, it is important for couples to keep their emotional intimacy burning and to stay committed and faithful to the relationship.

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there wasn't time to give a lot of tips but these were what i mentioned: (1) frequency of communication is as important as the quality of interaction. (2) some forms of communication douse cold water on the warmth of a relationship. couples should minimize or avoid nagging, criticism, accusation, put-downs, shouting, demanding behavior, mind games, and guilt tripping. (3) couples should express a lot of encouragement and appreciation to each other. (4) couples should keep each other updated through blog journals, virtual (on-cam) visitations, handwritten letters, hand-made cards, videos and audio recordings. (5) avoid sharing problems to the opposite sex lest an affair develops. (6) and finally, it will be helpful for each partner to have a support and accountability group which monitors for unfaithful behavior, among other things.

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here i am counseling OFW juancho on his long distance relationship.

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Juancho seems to be absorbing everything i say with focused intent and concentrated effort.

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yes, it just seems.

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... the emotional help continues: bringing hope and healing to typhoon survivors ...

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just what does a mother say when her 8-year old child asks, "is this the end, mom? is this our destiny?" just what comfort can this mother offer when she herself is struck with terror by the very questions her child asks?

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such were the stories shared in the post-typhoon disaster forum i facilitated at the national grid corporation of the philippines.

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people have the impression that just because the worst of the typhoons is over and that the relief goods have been distributed, the typhoon survivors can now put their trauma behind them. but the sad truth is this: when calamity strikes, it deeply sears into one's heart what is known as the "death impact." it is the sense that life is frail, that everyone is vulnerable, and that death may be lurking at any corner, at any time.

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a month has passed since the typhoon disaster happened but many typhoon survivors are still experiencing anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and grief. some are now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or ptsd.

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these people, they continue to need helping hands, listening ears, and compassionate hearts!

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the workshop: helping typhoon victims overcome and survive their emotional storms

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the workshop was attended by educators, social workers, hr officers, psychologists, ministers, and students.
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we started by sharing our personal experiences during the typhoons ondoy and pepeng. though a month had past since the two storms, many participants were still emotionally distraught as they narrated their stories.
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after the sharing session, we proceeded with learning different ways to help typhoon disaster victims overcome anxiety, depression, grief, insomnia, and post-traumatic stress disorder. among the the topics covered were:
- cognitive processing therapy,
- relaxation methods,
- emotional freedom techniques,
- emotional release therapy and EMDR,
- brain balancing techniques, and
- art therapy.
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participants had plenty of practice sessions:
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many participants received relaxation and healing in the process:
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and what workshop would be complete without some smiles and camaraderie?
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my thanks too to agnes, al (and may) for their ever-reliable, ever-efficient support and assistance!

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Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome and Survive Their Emotional Storms

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"Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome their Emotional Trauma”

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Typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng are now gone but they continue to wreak havoc in the emotional and psychological lives of some of its victims. Survivors may give the impression that they have already recovered but many are actually suffering in silence from their emotional distress and psychological trauma. For instance, many of the survivors develop fear, panic attacks, depression, nightmares, insomnia, loss of appetite, flashbacks, and difficulty in concentration. All these symptoms cause long term disturbances in their personal and work lives.
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In view of this calamity that raged through the country, the Philippine Society of Life Coaches (PSLC) is offering a skills-training workshop entitled "Helping Typhoon Victims Overcome and Survive their Emotional Storms." Participants will learn the essential skills for assessing the survivor's emotional condition and acquire the strategies for supporting them towards their emotional and psychological recovery.
. This one-day workshop is facilitated by Randy S. Dellosa, M.D., Psy.D., a life coach, psychologist and psychiatrist. It will be held on October 24, 2009 at the University Hotel, UP Diliman, Quezon City from 9 am to 5 pm.
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Registration starts at 8.30 am. Proceeds of this training will be donated to typhoon victims. For more details please contact Agnes R. Agbayani, RGC, M.Ed. at 415-7964 and 415-6529 and mobile phone 0922-877-5970.
_____________________________________________________
Philippine Society of Life Coaches
Office Address: 105 Scout Rallos Street. Barangay Sacred Heart, Kamuning, Quezon City
Telephone Numbers: 415-6529, 415-7964

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.. typhoon ondoy and crisis intervention stress management at manila central university (mcu) ...

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story after story poured, and all were heart-breaking.

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employees and students of manila central university (MCU), around 90 of them, gathered at the MCU auditorium to attend to a crisis intervention stress management (CISM) forum. i was given the daunting task of helping them deal with the ordeal they suffered due to typhoon ondoy.

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one participant, a student, tearfully narrated how she was stranded at the roof of their house with her brother desperately clutching onto her for dear life's sake. she felt especially helpless and resigned when her brother asked her whether they were going to die. some of her neighbors had rafts with plenty of extra space but simply ignored her frantic plea for help. at one instance, she even fell through her roof and fractured her arm. despite having survived the floods, she was immersed in her deep feelings of anger towards God for allowing this calamity to happen.

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every so often, i caught myself holding back my own emotions and tears, lest i choke while facilitating the session. at the end of the forum, i felt a strong empathy, a heartful connection with these survivors of the raging floods. as much as i wanted to do much more, all i could do was be present with them in their time of vulnerability.

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quietly, i continue to offer them a prayer of hope, and the strength to pick up and mend the broken pieces of their lives. dear god, i just pray that you comfort them at this time when they need you the most.

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... fear of dolls; fear of separation from cellphone ...

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the second time around for just this month, i get another interview on phobias. this time, gma-7's ka-blog crew visited me to interview actual people who have the fear of dolls (pediophobia) and the fear of separating from one's cellphone (nomophobia).

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benj (wearing black), the lady with doll phobia, remembers being scared of dolls as early as 4 years old. what she fears most are dolls that are life-like, particularly dolls with realistic skin texture. she also fears the sight of doll body parts like doll arms, legs, heads, and torsos. with a doll in sight, she starts panicking. and as soon as the doll actually touches her skin, she becomes hysterical.

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ana (wearing yellow), has the fear of separating from her cellphone. she says that without her cellphone, she feels emotionally empty and alone because according to her, the cellphone is her lifeline to other people. it was only because her family members pointed out her exaggerated reactions that she realized there was something wrong with her. otherwise, she would have considered her fear "normal." just like benj, she gets panicky and hysterical even upon the thought of losing her cellphone.

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to help them with their phobias, i did talk some brief psychotherapy and exposure therapy on them. i also taught them some breathing and body-focusing exercises. in such a short span of time, it turned out relatively well, with benj actually holding a baby doll and ana being estranged from her cellphone for 10 long minutes.

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assisting me in doing the exposure therapy was the show's host, lucky mercado. being the prankster that he is, he did a pretty good job in provoking benj and ana to feel more phobic than ever!

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... counseling for transgendered, transexual, and gender-variant persons in the philippines ...

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i met sharon for a counseling session this afternoon and she told me her story:

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as a kid growing up, she didn't have much care in the world. but as soon as puberty hit her, she fell into a deep crisis about her sexual identity. she became severely disturbed by the mismatch between her masculine mentality and her feminine appearance. for her, nature had played a dirty trick on her by making her a "man trapped in a woman's body."

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in order to halt the development of female sexual characteristics, she resorted to severe dieting which made her frail and sickly in the process. years later, as she researched on the internet, she discovered that her "affliction" had a name-- it was a condition known as "transexuality."

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this afternoon, sharon sought consultation with me for the very reason that she was ready to come to terms with her transexual self. she was ready to let go of the emotional baggage that had burdened her through the years.

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through individual counseling and group therapy with other transexuals, i hope that i can assist her well on her journey towards personal healing, growth, and wholeness.

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... treatment for phobias in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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the beautiful and spritely iya villania visited me at my clinic for an interview on fears and phobias.

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i gave her the following tidbits of information: fear is a normal emotion which warns us of impending danger. when the fear is irrational and intense, then it is classified as a phobia. phobias are best treated through a combination of exposure therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and relaxation exercises. other helpful interventions include art therapy, hypnotherapy, basic talk therapy, family support, support groups, and even a change in diet (low sugar and low caffeine).

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at the end of the interview, iya felt comfortable enough to confide in me about her deepest and darkest fear: "it's ipis cuz its nakakadiri." hehe! funny girl!

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... group therapy on relationship issues ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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this evening, i did group therapy on another batch of psychology interns from lyceum.

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the session generated serious reflection, sharing, and discussion, centering mostly on their relationship problems.

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the end result of group therapy? from the glow on their faces, you can tell that they gained a lot of emotional relief and life-changing insights which i hope they keep for the rest of their lives.

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... counseling in the philippines for those with homosexual issues and other sexual struggles ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychiatrist))

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today, i had an informative and engaging lunch meeting with benjie cruz, the national director of living waters, philippines.
. in my clinical practice, i meet a lot of clients struggling with homosexual issues, sexual addiction, sexual abuse, and other sexual problems. most of my clients want privacy and anonymity so they opt for professional and confidential counseling.
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some clients however ask for spiritually-oriented help, so this is where living waters comes in. living waters is a christ-centered ministry which offers spiritual support and christian camaraderie for those burdened by sexual struggles.
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whether in the form of professional counseling or christian ministry, hope and help is available for those in search of sexual healing and wholeness.
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... typhoon ondoy, post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd), and disaster counseling ... (philippines, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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Dealing with trauma after 'Ondoy'

(article excerpt)
ABS-CBN - Wednesday, September 30

MANILA - The damage brought by tropical storm Ondoy (international code name Ketsana) ruined the lives and homes of thousands of Filipinos in Metro Manila and surrounding provinces.

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"This time, we're dealing with trauma based on a calamity or disaster. So it's very disheartening to know the extent of the damage, not only environmentally but with regard to people's lives," said clinical psychologist Dr. Randy Dellosa in an interview on Mornings @ ANC on Tuesday.
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Trauma
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Dellosa said there are different kinds of trauma based on different emotional incidents in a person's life.
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"I've talked to a number of survivors and they have exhibited different types of emotions," he said.
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Though they have bravely stepped up to help others during the typhoon, disaster response teams or volunteer rescuers also need help themselves.
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"These 'heroes' also need our help. Because some of them may be acting out of their own fears. We call this counter-phobic helping. Just to confront their fears, they start helping people, but deep inside they have anxieties and fears," Dellosa said.
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Common reactions experienced by disaster victims are the following:
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SHOCK over the suddenness of the disaster, being unprepared for it, and feeling bewildered. Dellosa said there is also a tendency for victims to deny that things were happening to them, even if they were confronted with flood waters and scenes of death and destruction.
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ANGER that can be directed towards the disaster, God, others, or themselves. Victims question why disasters happened to them and if they had done anything wrong. They can also feel regret for choosing to live at a certain place, especially when there is great loss.
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DEPRESSION after losing property or loved ones. Dellosa said it is natural for victiims to cry profusely, even if they don't know the reason, or to feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. "That's part of the grief of losing so many things," he said.
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SURVIVAL GUILT or wondering why they survived and others did not. Victims may feel that others were more worthy of living, or that they did not do enought to help others. This is sometimes accompanied by the feeling that they should have died along with their loved ones.
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Further, people surrounding a typhoon victim or survivor are also at risk for developing psychiatric disorders because the experience of dealing with others' losses can be traumatic or make them feel vulnerable.
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Telltale signs
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Victims can develop anxiety disorders like a panic disorder. Throughout a person's day, they can experience periodic symptoms like shortness of breath, palpitations, gastric disturbances, and tenseness of the body.
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Dellosa said victims can also experience anticipatory anxiety, or the fear that something traumatic will happen again. This can happen, for example, if a typhoon victim gets nervous at the first sight of rain.
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Depression can manifest in sudden changes in appetite, energy level, or sleeping patterns. Victims have difficulty focusing or concentrating, and can even have suicidal tendencies or thoughts - just to escape pain or even to reunite themselves with their loved ones. 'Sometimes they are stoic and do not show emotions. But they are delaying the manifestation of their anxiety. Everyone can experience this, from old to young," Dellosa said, adding that children and the elderly are particularly vulnerable to emotional stress.
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What to do
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He warned those who have relatives of friends who exhibit overwhelming anxiety or depression to seek professional help immediately, or to offer a sympathetic ear so that victims can unload their feelings.
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In counseling, this is called a "defusion stage" where victims release pent-up emotions and tell their stories so that healing takes place. "You have to lower the level of anxiety and terror that they feel. This takes place in the first few hours after the disaster and before they sleep. Allow them to vent and share their stories," Dellosa said.
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People should also avoid showing graphic images of calamities to victims because it reinforces their negative feelings. It would also be a good time to mobilize the victim's support system (friends, family, church) to remove feelings of helplesness or lonliness.
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... the guest psychologist at ruffa and ai ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychiatrist)

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the guests featured at ruffa and ai-ai's show were the stars of the movie "lovers in paris"- kc concepcion, piolo pascual, and zanjoe marudo.
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in the show, piolo and zanjoe were instructed to give kc a gift. kc, in turn, would choose the gift of her preference.
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as the guest psychologist, i was tasked to interpret kc's personality based on the gift she chose.
.the first pair of gifts offered to kc were a long stem rose from piolo and a bouquet of roses from zanjoe. kc's preference was the long stem rose.
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kc's choice reveals that as a romantic partner, she is "low-maintenance," easily appreciating the simple manifestations of love by her partner. the long stem of the rose is a symbol of the process of courtship which ends with a blossoming of love as symbolized by the flower. if kc picked the bouquet of roses, it would mean that she was a "high-maintenance" partner, wanting a flair for drama, passion, and flamboyance in her romantic affair.
. the second pair of gifts offered to kc were a stuffed toy from piolo and a box of chocolates from zanjoe. kc's preference was the stuffed toy.
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kc 's choice reveals that as a romantic partner, she is child-like, fun-loving, spontaneous, and sentimental. if, on the other hand, kc chose the box of chocolates, it would mean a predilection for the "sensual", since chocolates are related to physical or carnal appetites.
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with kc's choices, the "solid kc-piolo fans' club" has all the reason to go extremely jubilant and wildly gaga!!
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... more interviews on hair loss ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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after my talk on male hair loss, the solar sports crew ambushed me for an interview.

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their question: What are the common things guys do to cope/deal with hair fall?

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my answer: (1) by wearing caps, hats, bandannas, or toupees; (2) by growing thick facial hair such as moustaches and beards; (3) by growing their remaining hair long enough to brush over the balding area- the so called "comb-over; (4) by bulking up their bodies to distract people from noticing their balding heads; (5) by womanizing to prove that they are still desirable; and lastly, (6) by avoiding people to avoid embarrassment.

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cute nila 'no? well, this proves it: different strokes for balding folks!

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... acupuncture in the philippines for erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, and premature ejaculation ... (psychologist, psychiatrist)

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since the start of this year, i've been receiving more and more male clients concerned about their sexual health. many do not have any sexual problems but have simply made sexual health an essential aspect of their self-care and personal wellness program. some guys, on the other hand, consult me because they want particular help for erectile dysfunction, infertility, or premature ejaculation.

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a popularly-sought out wellness therapy for sexual health is acupuncture. this 30-minute procedure is virtually painless, involving the insertion of fine needles into specific points on the body. aside from the needles, laser, finger pressure, suction cups, and energy healing are also applied.

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acupuncture is one of the healing practices of traditional chinese medicine (tcm). it is believed that illness is caused by blockages in the flow of energy through the body's meridian system, resulting in illnesses and disorders. acupuncture is a means of removing these energy blockages. done regularly and frequently, acupuncture can help guys boost their sexual energy and maintain sexual well-being.

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forgive the pun but really, for acupuncturists, a robust prick is just pricks away!

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... cognitive-behavioral therapy (cbt) in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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way back when i was in training as a psychiatric resident, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) was virtually unheard of among psychiatrists. that's because psychiatrists are basically trained in the the psychoanalytic (freudian) tradition of psychotherapy. having taken up psychology as my pre-med course, i was well-aware of the weaknesses and limitations of the psychoanalytic approach and decided that i would never use it as stand-alone therapy. in my desire to offer more substantial help to my patients, i studied and learned how to do cognitive-behavioral therapy at the same time that i was training myself in psychoanalytic psychotherapy.

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here i am teaching cbt to psychotherapy students.

in my current clinical practice as a psychotherapist, i commonly employ cognitive-behavioral therapy on my clients with anxiety disorders (panic attacks), depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd), and addiction problems. cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches that "bad" thought patterns cause us to experience"bad" feelings and makes us engage in "bad" behaviors. 

cbt however is not always the appropriate therapy to use. cbt may be the most popular and most-researched of the psychotherapies but this does not make it superior to other psychotherapies.  for instance, a large long-term study by the national institute of mental health (nimh) rated medical treatment and interpersonal therapy to be more effective in the treatment of depression than cbt.  

furthermore, cbt is the most-researched of the psychotherapy approaches NOT because it is most effective BUT ONLY BECAUSE it is the easiest to research on.  why? because cbt is the most structured of the psychotherapy approaches and a cbt treatment protocol can easily be  standardized (i.e., applied as a "de-kahon" approach).  because it is a structured approach, you might not even need a cbt therapist to help you.  buying yourself a self-help cbt workbook and religiously doing the exercises and assignments on a long-term daily basis will probably do you much better than merely consulting a cbt therapist for weekly sessions of one hour each.   

in my long years (decades actually) of exposure to and practice of different psychotherapies, I personally and professionally consider gestalt therapy to be more effective than cbt.  for one, gestalt therapy not only has a strong cognitive-behavioral component like cbt, but it also focuses on the physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic, relational (interpersonal), and ecological aspects of existence.  it is therefore a more holistic approach than cbt.  and secondly, gestalt therapy is not only about "fixing" your disorders; its higher goal is for the client to experience personal growth and have a more meaningful life.  unlike cbt, gestalt therapy then is really about attaining your fullest potential as a human being.  it is about becoming the person you were meant to be.  but, enough of gestalt for now.  going back to cbt...

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many people have the notion that cbt can take the place of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications and this simply is not true. in the midst of overwhelming emotions or symptoms, it is very difficult, even impossible, to apply cbt.  do you think, for instance, that you'll still be able to apply your positive affirmations and positive self-talk when you're desperately gasping for air and physically feeling that your heart is going to explode from the pounding heartbeat of an intense panic attack? cbt can certainly be a helpful form of therapy for mild cases.  my clinical experience (and the experience of many many patients) tell me however that psychiatric disorders (i.e., schizophrenia, major depression, GAD, SAD, panic disorder, OCD, etc.) have to be medically treated or managed first before cbt can be successfully applied.

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