... abs-cbn: tama bang mangatwiran sa nakakatanda? ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

gladys reyes of abscbn's umagang kay ganda posed to me the question, "tama bang mangatwiran sa nakakatanda?  the answer to the question is "it depends."

here are some questions to consider:

- do you have sound basis for reasoning out?

- is it the right time or situation to do it?

- is the person you're reasoning out to in a receptive mood?

- do you need to cool down first before presenting your stand in a calm and objective manner?

- are you prepared to accept the possibility that the other person may reject what you have to say?

- do you, in the first place, even need to reason out or can you just let the issue go?

... gma 7: frenemies in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila)

ms. kara david of gma news asked me to define what a "frenemy" is.

a "frenemy" in common usage is pejoratively construed as a "two-faced person," "fake buddy," or "plastik na tao."

"frenemy" can mean any of the following:

- a person who you have a love-hate relationship with,

- a true friend with whom you engage in some friendly competition,

- a backstabber who acts friendly towards you,

- a rival who you relate to in a friendly manner, or

- a person with whom you harbor ill feelings but relate to in a friendly manner.

kara david, my friend ... NOT frenemy!

... tv5: depression and suicide treatment, therapy, and prevention in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila)

tv5's bitag, hosted by mr. ben tulfo, sent apple meneses and cyril piernas to interview me on why suicides make frequent news these days.

what comes to mind is the phenomenon called "copycat suicides." this phenomenon occurs when a person successfully commits suicide, which emboldens other depressed people to follow suit.  copycat suicides happen particularly when a popular person (such as a tv personality, public figure, or even a fictional character in a book or movie) commits suicide, or when media sensationalizes a particular suicidal incident.

the lesson here is for media to be responsible enough by not sensationalizing suicide cases and by not making frequent news reports on suicide.  depressed people get emboldened to act on their suicidal tendencies when they know that others have successfully done it.  

i have written a number of blog articles about suicide which you might want to review:  

- http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2012/07/major-depression-and-suicide-therapy.html

- http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2012/04/depression-and-suicide-in-teens-and.html

- http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2011/06/major-depression-in-philippines-and.html

- http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2011/02/depression-treatment-and-suicide.html

- http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2010/10/depression-treatment-therapy-in.html

if you are depressed and having thoughts of hurting yourself, call 415-6529 or 415-7964 RIGHT NOW and set an appointment at the soonest time.  the earlier you get help, the quicker you'll recover from your depression!  

... the philippines: most emotional country in the world ... life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila)

jenny reyes of abscbn's news program bandila asked me for probable reasons why, according to an international survey, the Philippines is "the most emotional country" in the world.  

one reason for the Filipinos' emotionality is historically-based.  in the process of being "enslaved" by a number of colonizers, Filipinos learned to suppress their emotions as a survival mechanism- lest they get guillotined or shot to death for blatantly expressing their sentiments.  and now that the Philippines is a free country, Filipinos (over)compensate by enjoying the freedom to express their emotions- something most Filipinos of yore would not have dared to do.   

a second reason is based on cultural attitudes.  Filipinos are emotional because they are expected to practice the attitude of "emotional sensitivity (pakiramdaman)" wherein Filipinos intuitively assess or "feel out" a person or a situation before making a next move.  

a third reason is due to the close-knittedness of Filipino relationships. the closer people interact with each other, the more relational friction is bound to happen, thereby causing emotions to erupt.  

a fourth reason is that in recent times, Filipinos have been adopting a "magpakatotoo (be true to yourself) attitude" propagated by  people on TV like Kris Aquino, Anabelle Rama, etc. wherein Filipinos are encouraged to be "authentic" and "transparent" by expressing their thoughts and feelings, albeit in a tactless, rude, or insensitive manner.   

and lastly, Filipinos have become influenced by the over-dramatic "teleseryes" they watch, thus acquiring a "teleserye" mentality wherein they also become emotionally dramatic as they relate to others.  

the philippines is the most emotional country in the world, and this attribute certainly makes it more fun to be in the Philippines!  

... shirley m. pizarro of the GMA artist center ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

if i didn't know anything about shirley pizarro, i would think that she was one simple and ordinary family person.  and indeed, that's primarily what she is.  she identifies herself as a wife first, and a mother second.  along with her husband christopher, she's done a good job in raising 4 bright and bubbly kids- there's averill who's a magna cum laude, alfonso carlo who's a cum laude, angelo gabriel who's a voracious reader and writer, and arielle who's aiming to be a high school valedictorian. now who wouldn't be proud of having kids like these?  besides passing on good genes (may pinagmanahan, ika nga), shirley and hubby have done well in imparting good values onto their children.  

but the thing is, i do know who shirley matias-pizarro is,  and thus i know that she is NOT just a simple and ordinary family person.  for decades now, this lady has been wearing many professional hats, with one hat atop another.  for those of you who don't know her, this superlady deserves a 10-minute drumroll prior to her introduction:  to start with, shirley is an events and publicity consultant for the GMA Artist Center. she is also a talent manager of actors and actresses with "real and brilliant" talent (Cesar Montano being one of those).  many people know shirley as a columnist for Manila Bulletin's entertainment section, and moreover, she serves as an untiring consultant for many other projects. shirley may be a low-profile person, but this lady MAKES the stars!

as a psychologist for the entertainment industry, i do a lot of life coaching and drama therapy sessions with actors and actresses for their personal and professional growth, and so, i became utterly excited to pick the mind of this lady veteran of the entertainment industry. throughout her career, she's witnessed the comings and goings, the travails and victories, the ups and downs in the actual lives of people in showbiz.  

i posed to shirley this question, "if you were to give 3 tips to aspiring actors and actresses, what would they be?"  here's a paraphrase of what she shared: (1)  nothing beats having an education.  if young people should choose between getting an education or entering showbiz, education should be it!  (2)  artists should retain good values, and be able to separate their personal/ family life from their showbiz life instead of allowing those two lives to enmesh and mess up each other.  and lastly, (3) actors and actresses should keep themselves rooted to the ground, and avoid self-inflating their egos.  after experiencing some degree of success, many actors and actresses start having a "star complex" and feel a sense of "entitlement" just because they are "stars."

listening to shirley pizarro is like listening to an enlightened master spewing out nuggets of wisdom.  as a last word, she tells me that actors and actresses need to learn the value of hard work. "they have to realize that fame and fortune from showbiz does not last, and that there are more essential things in life like getting an education, developing your character, and having good values." 

thank you shirley.  i hope that all budding and established actors and actresses not only hear your words, but more importantly, heed them.  God bless you, your family, and your work!  
  

... anger management classes, one-on-one psychotherapy sessions, and group therapy ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

gma's state of the nation, hosted by jessica soho, sent sherrie ann torres and ariel dano to interview me on anger management.

people with anger problems are best helped by attending

- anger management classes, 

- one-on-one psychotherapy sessions, 

- psychiatric consultations, and

- group therapy sessions.  

anger management classes usually focus on teaching general strategies on how to deal with angry feelings and how to prevent aggressive or violent outbursts.  

individual psychotherapy sessions focus on the root causes of anger and how to resolve them.

psychiatric consultations are especially useful when there is a psychiatric condition underlying the angry or aggressive behaviors, such as adhd, alcohol or substance dependence, major depression, etc.  

group therapy sessions make the angry person more aware about the interpersonal triggers of the anger, and teach the angry person to be more sensitive about the feelings of others.  

here's another blog entry on anger management for you:  http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2012/10/anger-management-in-philippines-life_27.html

keep cool everyone! have a nice day! :D

... sino ang mas matipid, babae o lalake? ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

abscbn's umagang kay ganda sent sandra tobillo and ariel rodriguez to ask me, "who are more thrifty, men or women?"  

i don't think thriftiness has to do with gender.  i think that the more influential factors which govern our use, misuse, or abuse of money include: 

- genetic predisposition (yes, the personality traits of miserliness, thriftiness, and spendthriftiness can be inherited), 

- parental modeling (children copy the attitudes and behaviors their parents have towards money),

- financial status (the more people have, the more they spend).

forced to give an answer, my wild guess is that men spend on more expensive things (high-tech gadgets, sports equipment, vehicles, etc) sporadically, while women buy cheaper things (clothes, make-up, bling-bling, etc.) more frequently.  

... why we watch horror movies ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

tv5 news sent jenny hipolito and jc gotinga to ask me why we watch horror movies.

personally, i consider horror movies "mind trash."  horror movies pollute my conscious and subconscious mind with images and thoughts that i could live without.  this doesn't mean though that i'm a crusader against such films because some people actually benefit from watching them.

so what are psychological and biological reasons why we watch?  

one reason is that they provide a psychological jolt to an otherwise monotonous and drab existence, just like jalapeno peppers add a spicy torturous hellish zing to your otherwise bland and boring pizza.  

a second reason is that horror movies provide a psychological upliftment for people with many real-life fears.  horror movies somehow reassure people that there are more horrifying things to be scared of than the petty little fears of everyday life.

the third reason is a biological one.  enkephalins, the so-called natural opioids, flood the body after a frightful hair-raising experience.  enkephalin is the substance responsible for making sexual acts feel pleasurable, and this is the same substance released in the body after getting frightened.  horror movie + enkephalin release + adrenaline rush = good scare! 

happy halloween everybody!  and remember to wear cloves of garlic around your neck when you sleep tonight!