... abs-cbn: coping with being single ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

pia gutierrez, beauteous news reporter for abs-cbn's patrol ng pilipino asked me how single people can cope with being single. 

first of all, single people shouldn't even be "coping" with being single.  the word "cope' gives the negative connotation that singlehood is an ordeal.  people liken singlehood to climbing mount everest by oneself and surviving its cold, harsh, and deathly terrain.  but why should singlehood be viewed in this way?

being single these days has become the lifestyle statement of the free spirit!  it's a powerful declaration of your choice to be emotionally complete unto yourself, without having to rely on others for your happiness.  being single is a celebration of your independence and of your vast opportunities for exploration, adventure, expansion, and self-love.  those in relationship can only get envious of you; their world has shrunk and they may feel trapped since they cannot enjoy the world as singles do!

so for those of you who are single out there, the whole world is your playground! go ahead, frolic in it and enjoy it to no end!  

  

... tv5: love is a never-ending story ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

edwin morales and i had a discussion about love among old people.  

for me, it is always a heart-warming sight to see old people walking hand-in-hand and still in love with each other.  it tells me that love is real and that real love endures.  

for you younger couples out there whose love for each other still has to go through the test of time, here's a short story to reflect on:
  

Alzheimer's Disease

It was a busy morning at the emergency room when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry and had to leave as soon as he could. While taking care of his wound, I asked him why he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me that he  needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I enquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we  talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. 

He  replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

I was surprised and asked him, 'So why do you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know you anymore?' 

He smiled as he  patted my hand and said,

'She sure doesn't  know me... but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back the tears as he left.  I had goose bumps on my arm.  In my mind, all I could think of was... THAT is the kind of love I want in my life.

I hope that the story inspires you to have an undying love for each other. I hope that you grow old together and remain lovers for keeps. 

... gma: kapuso mo, jessica soho presents "the art of doodling" ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

jessica soho sent jacqueline sto. domingo to interview me for segment on the art of doodling.  

so what is a doodle anyway? everyone, at one time or another has done it.  it's the little drawings which we unmindfully and repeatedly do when we're bored to death and have a piece of paper and pen at hand.  in fact, our school notebooks might have more doodles than notes in it.  doodling is probably a way we keep ourselves awake in class when the teacher lulls us to sleep with uninteresting lectures.  

do you ever wonder what your doodles mean?  doodle expert michael watts shares his interpretations:

- circles are doodled by people who are sincere, kind-hearted, and friendly individuals who are faithful in relationships.

- eyes are doodled by people who are self-centered egocentric lovers.  

- flowers/ hearts are doodled by people who have a childlike and innocent attitude to love, sex, and relationships, but they may also show an immature side.   

- names are doodled by people who are concerned about what they can get out of a relationship rather than tuning in to the needs of their partners.

- spirals are doodled by people who have deep emotional insecurity in their personality.

- snakes are a classic phallic symbol and are doodled by people who are obsessed with sex and the male organ.  

- stairs/ steps are doodled by people who view sex with endless fascination and mystery and have a desire to explore it to the fullest. 

- trees are drawn by people who are friendly, warm-hearted, and affectionate.

- triangles are drawn by people with strong sexual appetites that have insufficient outlet.  

as a disclaimer, i have to say that i don't necessarily believe in the interpretations above.  just like my take on dreams, the meaning of the doodle is best interpreted by the doodler himself.  

doodle therapy? sweet!

... gma: wish ko lang helps out soliman cruz ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

it's been more than a decade since i first met soliman cruz.  even from the beginning, i recognized in this actor soliman the marks of genius- his passionate love for acting, his dedication in honing his craft, and his generous desire to teach and coach aspiring artists.  

my impressions of him back then continue up to the present: i still perceive him to be a very right-brained type of person, very feelings-oriented, creative, humorous, free-spirited, and eccentric.  he flows with whatever circumstance he finds or gets himself in and he pours all of himself into the moment.  he treats the world as his playground where he lets his childlikeness cut loose.

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH WITH THIS ONE!  Soliman Cruz in the 
Boysen Paint commercial entitled "Home Sweet Home"

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH WITH THIS ONE TOO!  Soliman Cruz in the 

Boysen Paint commercial entitled "Mother-in-Law"

but like all of us, soliman has within himself demons that taunt him and ghosts that haunt him:  he openly talks to friends and media about his unstable marriage; he himself confesses that he struggles with drug use and has even attended narcotics anonymous support groups in the past; and from his own mouth too, he admits that he converses with the "voices" in his head.  many people, in fact, were both shocked and saddened to see soliman walking aimlessly along Roxas Boulevard like a greased-up hobo, talking to himself and at times, sleeping by the seawall.

a few people reacted quite hastily and angrily when they watched me on tv giving soliman a diagnosis of 'methamphetamine dependence with probable schizophrenia.'  for these people, they considered my action to be a breach of confidentiality between doctor and patient.  

i want to remind them though that there was nothing confidential, nothing secret about his life that i divulged.  the staff of jessica soho and of vicky morales brought soliman to me because for them, it was pretty obvious that he was exhibiting strange (aka abnormal) behaviors.  in fact, it was soliman himself who requested to have personal consultations with me, bringing along with him the tv crews of jessica soho and vicky morales on separate occasions.  

the diagnosis which i gave soliman was based on symptoms and behaviors which soliman himself had divulged to media and which countless others had clearly observed in him.  people don't need specialized knowledge in psychology or psychiatry to know that "conversing with voices in the head" and "shabu use" are not normal.  in giving soliman a diagnosis, i merely translated into medical jargon the symptoms which soliman himself had announced to media: 

-  soliman admitted to media hearing voices in his head + talking to the voices. medical translation: hallucinations -> psychosis -> probable schizophrenia

-  soliman admitted to media his history of shabu use + battling addiction + attendance at narcotics anonymous groups." medical translation:  methamphetamine dependence.

what people don't know is that soliman and i had discussed beforehand about the content of the interview and thus, soliman, with full awareness, granted me permission to say whatever i said on tv.  in fact, it was i who was protective of soliman by constantly reminding the tv crew through text messages not to portray soliman in bad light, lest his career gets ruined.

jessica soho's and  vicky morales' teams brought soliman cruz to my clinic with noble intentions: 
(1) to get soliman cruz treated and rehabilitated, 
(2) to educate the public about the psychiatric consequences of illicit drug use, and most importantly, 
(3) to instill hope in soliman cruz and give him a new lease on life.

soliman publicly claims that he is able to ignore the voices in his head when it is time to act, and this is exemplary proof of how single-minded and focused he can be as an actor.  in fact, soliman's exceptional acting prowess was again displayed in the recent award-winning movie 'el presidente.'  

as a last word, i want to say that giving soliman cruz a psychiatric diagnosis does not, in any way, diminish his dignity as a person, his genius as an artist, and his likeability as a friend.  and while some people have nothing better to do than create sensationalized controversies about him or me, i would rather let soliman know that if ever and whenever he needs my help, i'll gladly be there to help him like i've always done in the past!   

... gma: jessica soho interviews soliman cruz ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

Soliman Cruz admits hearing voices in his head; diagnosed with probable schizophrenia (excerpts)

Lyn Luna Montealegre, Philippine Entertainment Portal (PEP)

soliman and the kapuso mo, jessica soho crew

Several witnesses revealed that they often see Soliman walking along Roxas Boulevard and talking to himself. Some said that they even see the actor sleeping along the seawall. News about Mang Sol’s [Soliman] strange state and behavior spread like wildfire on various social networking sites. This prompted Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho to feature the character actor on its recent episode last Sunday, December 16. Soliman, now known as Mang Sol, is staying at a friend’s art gallery located in Singalong, Manila.

Does he have problems with his vices?

Mang Sol denied that he has a drinking problem but he admitted, “Eto yung paulit-ulit kong sinasabi, kung nagbibisyo ka ba, nagda-drugs. At eto yung kasagutan ko, I’m not in denial pero may programa ako sa sarili ko. Di ba, sa Narcotics Anonymous may twelve steps…May mga bahaging okay, may mga bahaging hindi okay kaya binabalanse ko.”

What are the challenges being faced by the actor now?

The character actor revealed, “It’s all about the voices in my head. I hear voices. I have to talk to them.”

What are these voices telling you?

The veteran actor said, “Marami. Marami silang sinasabi tungkol sa akin. Sa aming mga ideya. Pag ako naglalakad, ang pag-uusap namin tungkol sa Boatman’s club…ang Boatman’s Club ay kapitbahay ng Manila Yacht Club. Ito ay transmutasyon ng Malate Business Club. Hindi ko alam kung sino sila. Maaaring ako rin yun.”

Did he seek medical help?

“Pumunta ako sa isang psychiatrist noong may teleserye pa ako. Ngayon ay di ko pa makakayanan bumisita sa clinika niya. Ito ay hindi problema. Ito ay kailangan magpursige at maghanap ng proyekto.”

DIAGNOSIS OF SOLIMAN. Since Mang Sol mentioned that he would like to talk to a psychiatrist, Jessica arranged for him to be checked and evaluated by psychiatrist-psychologist Dr. Randy Dellosa.

After the consultation, Dr. Dellosa said: “Yung actual diagnosis ko sa kanya ay methamphetamine dependence and also probable schizophrenia."

According to medicinenet.com, symptoms of schizophrenia may include "delusions, hallucinations, catatonia, negative symptoms, and disorganized speech or behavior."

Dr. Dellosa explained, “Ang paggamit ng drugs ay nakaka-imbalance ng chemicals sa utak.

"Pag na imbalance ang chemicals sa utak, nagkakaroon ng hallucinations at yun ang nangyari kay Sol. Mayroon siyang mga naririnig na auditory hallucinations na voices. Kinakausap niya itong mga bulong.”

The doctor clarified that this condition is treatable.

“There’s medication for that. It’s very easy to treat psychosis…Kailangan niya ng individual psychotherapy o counseling. Kasi mayroon siyang mga angst sa buhay. Kagaya ng problems niya with si misis ... Kung masyadong matindi ang emotions niya, masyado siyang nalulungkot o nagagalit, pwede siyang mag-resort sa drugs. He also needs to have marital or family counseling. Besides that, kailangan niya ng support group para ma-encourage at ma-inspire siya.”

soliman cruz with nathan lopez in the award-winning movie 

'ang pagdadalaga ni maximo oliveros'

STILL AN ARTIST AT HEART. 

What are his plans for Christmas?

He said, “... Maghahanap siguro ako uli ng isang lugar na maaaring akong magdasal. “Yung teatro ang aking parang… Kailangan kong magdasal. Hindi ako makapagdasal kung hindi ako lilikha. Ang paglikha ay pagdarasal.”

Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho already gave some medication to Soliman Cruz. Family members and friends of the character actor can contact these numbers to extend their help: Tel. No. 982-7777 local 1426 / 1427

... abscbn: happy birthday everyone! ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

gladys reyes and ariel velasco of abscbn's umagang kay ganda asked me for sound bites about the new year!

i shared with them two of my favorites quotations.  one quotation is from the british essayist charles lamb who said, "New Year's Day is every man's birthday."  on a macro time frame, every new year we get to celebrate is a chance for us to start anew, to be reborn, to turn over a new leaf, to make it better this year around!

the other memorable quote is from tom cruise's movie, "vanilla sky," which says, "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around."  on a micro time frame, at any specific time, we always have the power of choice to correct our mistakes or to overcome a weakness.

and here's my own little quote for you for the new year: work as if everything depended on you, but pray because everything really depends on God!  happy 2013 everyone!  

... tv5: on making new year's resolutions ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

jc gotinga of tv5 news asked me about new year's resolutions.  

when people are asked what their new year's resolutions are, they'll most probably mention the same resolutions they've made in the past new years.  

in my practice as a life coach, these are the common resolutions i hear:

- be fit and healthy by losing weight, eating more healthy foods, sleeping on time, relaxing more, exercising, etc.

- get rid of unwanted habits, behaviors, or attitudes

- have a more balanced, enjoyable, or simple life

- learn something new 

- finally do what you've been putting off

- be more organized with time and belongings

- pay off debts, spend less, and save more

- have better relations with family, friends, or co-workers

- start a new relationship

- help others

- become more spiritual.

when people aren't able to accomplish their new year's resolutions, it's most probably because they didn't really make a plan for it to happen.  in other words, they just "wished" that their new year's resolutions would come true while exerting minimal or no effort.  

there really is no magic secret to attaining new year's resolutions, but there are some guidelines to follow to ensure our success.  most probably, you've heard of the SMART way of goal-setting.  here is my version of the acronym:

- S:  Specific goals, Strategy should comprise Small "baby" Steps.

- M: steps and goals should be Monitorable, gains should be Measurable.

- A: be Accountable to someone.  It helps that someone checks up on your progress.

- R:  your goal and strategies should be Realistic.

- T:  make a Time-frame (a schedule) for your goals and strategies.  

happy new year everyone! i'll be excitedly waiting to hear of your success stories for 2013!