... qigong healing workshop with medical studes ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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this morning, i facilitated a mini-workshop with a group of u.p medical students.

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we started off with therapeutic drumming to the tune of earth and water rhythms.

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i taught them how to be sensitive to the body's qi energy.

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they learned how to emit healing qi energy using hand postures.

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we "beat the mat" to rid the liver of anger energy.

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and the mini-workshop was capped off with "dry crying" to rid the lungs of grief energy.

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mini-workshop but jam-packed with activities. hope they had fun as they learned!

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... zen roshi sr. sonia punzalan and the bahay dalangin zen community ... (philippines, life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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after a long hiatus due to work commitments, i am finally back doing zazen (seated meditation) at the zendo. i arrived early to make sure that i get to have dokusan (private interview) with sr. sonia shuni-an punzalan who is the zen roshi (master) of the bahay dalangin zen community. Aside from being a zen roshi, she is also a catholic religious sister of the cenacle.

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what is zen all about?

the zen poems below give you a taste:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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everything just as it is,

as it is,

as is.

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flowers in bloom.

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nothing to add.

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- robert aitken, roshi -

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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if you understand zen,

things are just as they are.

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if you do not understand zen,

things are just as they are.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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learning zen is a phenomenon

of gold and dung.

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before you understand it, it's like gold;

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after you understand it, it's like dung.

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... article on marlene aguilar and jason ivler ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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She ‘Displays Exemplary Unconditional Love’ But ...

by Nikko Dizon

Philippine Daily Inquirer (excerpt)

First Posted 02:01:00 01/22/2010

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MANILA, Philippines—Marlene Aguilar may take a thousand bullets for her son, as she has declared, but psychologists say a mother should also find a way for her child to take responsibility for his actions.

. An objective view of Aguilar’s actions would show that “to some degree, her actions were an exemplary, commendable display of unconditional love,” according to Randy Dellosa, a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist.

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“There was a willingness to sacrifice herself and to protect her loved one,” Dellosa said, noting the “enmeshed relationship” between the mother and son.

“[Sadly however], there was also a high tolerance for inappropriate behavior, and even an act of covering up for it... It’s something like a negatively dependent relationship. They need each other... where the mother is the rescuer of her son who needs rescuing,” he said.

. “A mother’s love should be limitless,” Dellosa explained. “But it doesn’t mean condoning the child’s mistakes because helping or getting help for the child, imposing disciplinary actions on him, is also a sign of limitless love.”

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... how far should a mother's love go?: the psychology of marlene aguilar-pollard and jason ivler ... (philippines, psychotherapist, psychiatrist)

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nikko dizon of philippine daily inquirer interviewed me on marlene aguilar-pollard and jason ivler.

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she wanted to know how far a mother's love should go and whether marlene's act of hiding her son was the right thing to do?

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i told nikko that ideally, mother's love should be limitless and unconditional. however, love can be expressed in both healthy and unhealthy ways.

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there is nothing wrong in being a self-sacrificing and protective mother. in fact, marlene is exemplary in being a mother with those traits. however, marlene's instinct to protect jason falls short because she fails to protect him from being a threat to himself and to others. instead, she tolerates her son's sociopathic behaviors, fails to get professional help for him, rescues him from the consequences of his own mistakes, and denies that he has a problem.

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despite her unlawful behaviour, i wouldn't go so far as to accuse marlene of being a bad person. who knows? marlene might be (ignorantly) acting in the best way she thinks a mother should act. what is clear though is that after the dust has settled, marlene and jason need intensive and long-term psychological help.

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... healing body and mind through bodytalk ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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woohooo! today i became a certified "bodytalk access technician!" what that means is that i've learned the foundational concepts and techniques of bodytalk, an energy healing system which involves the tapping of certain body parts, to bring healing to both body and mind. It can lower blood pressure, relieve pain, stress, anxiety, and depression, heal migraine among other things.

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the training was conducted by canadian trainer dorothy friesen, affectionately called by the filipino nickname 'doray,' who has taught bodytalk to hundreds of filipinos. not only did i get trained by her, but i had the privilege of experiencing her healing energy.

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i also got to meet some luminaries such as madame sonia roco, 'inang guro,' who continues the legacy of the late senator raul roco (who could have been the best president the philippines ever had). also, i met ma'am marilen abesamis, who represents the philippines in the international bodytalk association.

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my groupmates- al, agnes, tom- and i found our training very informative and engaging. the training ended on a high note with all of us excited to apply this healing modality to improve the lives of the people we help.

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in case you're interested in a session or training, you can call 384-1885 or 0919-925-2034.

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... Success Quo, the DVD magazine ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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watch out for the premier issue of Success Quo, the DVD Magazine on work and life.

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in the DVD, i get to share some information on sleep enhancement and stress management. while the targeted market is corporate people, there is something in the DVD for anyone who watches it. it contains segments which are informational, inspirational, and humorous too.

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the DVD magazine project is the brainchild of two ultra-creative people, logie and jenny, who are both with me in the behind-the-scene picture above.

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... teenage depression and the emo culture in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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timmy yee plus crew of 700 club, cbn-asia came over to interview me about teenage depression and the emo culture.

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over the years, there have been an increasing number of emo peeps consulting me at my clinic. as expected, they are morbidly introspective and angsty, and suffer from major depression. because of emotional or physical numbness, they commonly resort to self- cutting or self-mutilation.

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the good news is that there is effective help available for them, which is the reliable, good old combo of anti-dep meds, psychotherapy, and wellness therapies.

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it is so satisfying for me, as a shrink, to see them transformed into human smileys within 2 weeks to a month. if you know any emos around your neighborhood, perhaps you could encourage them to get the help that they need.

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... etheric nerve impulse therapy (enit)... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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a good friend of mine, ken tan-schneider, gifted me with a (pleasant) nerve-shocking surprise! he treated me out to experience an ancient Chinese healing modality called "etheric nerve impulse therapy." this modality was introduced to the philippines by ms. ladie coronel, a nurse who looks a decade and a half younger than her current age of 72.

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as her story goes, in 1975, ms. ladie underwent a "strictly-by-invitation-only" training program on this healing art. out of the 20 international participants, only 5 passed the 5-year rigorous training program with ms. ladie being one of them.

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my therapy started out with an evaluation phase wherein ms. ladie wrung rubber bands around my fingers and probed my palms, arms, and shoulders with her vanadium wand.

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after finishing her assessment, she instructed her trained therapist to work on particular nerve points of my body. the therapy elicited in me some pain, some ticklish sensations, some numbness, and some nerve zingers (like when your funny bone gets hit). the session ended with me feeling quite relaxed yet energized at the same time.

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for whatever it's worth, etheric nerve impulse therapy is an interesting modality to try. for wellness junkies out there, call 584-5208 / 415-1573 for appointments or inquiries. hope you enjoy!

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... surrounded by gentle giants ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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no, i didn't feel "belittled" in their presence, but i did feel dwarfed by the bigness of their hearts (and size).

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this morning, i did group therapy on medical students from u.p. -- "big" shots in the medical field, "figure-ratively" speaking!

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despite the heavy emotional themes that surfaced, the group participants remained buoyant and bubbly, and kept the mood airy and light.

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... when healers hang out ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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to have good friends is healing... especially if they are friends who heal.

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i just realized right now that i was in the company of elite international healers. below, you'll see french-vietnamese dr. chi nguyen (a traditional chinese medical doctor), american dr. tom kurz (energy healing practitioner and doctor of epistemology), randy d. (your filipino witch doctor- joke!), and iranian dr. reyhan reyhani (doctor of homeopathy).

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as you gaze at the picture, receive our good energy... and the healing you need!

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... hypoactive sexual desire disorder ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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justine tajonera interviewed me for her upcoming article in smart parenting. topic: hypoactive sexual desire disorder. this is a condition which many clients actually consult me about.

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"hypoactive desire" may mean two things: either the client is lacking in sexual urges or, the client is averse or phobic to sexual activity.

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having a lack of sexual desire is not necessarily abnormal. some people are more sexual than others and in fact, i've met people who are totally asexual, that is, not having even a wee bit trace of libido. when a couple is both hyposexual, then hyposexuality is not a problem. it only becomes problematic if the couple experiences a mismatch in their levels of sexual urges. with this mismatch, you can be sure that marital conflict abounds.

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i don't want this to be a spoiler, so this is as much as i'll write. if you're interested in more information about hyposexuality, wait for justine's article in smart parenting... soon to come out!
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... applied psychology conference at u.p. pampanga ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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i was tasked to do be a reactor at the applied psychology conference in u.p. pampanga. the topic was on current trends which i observed in my own clinical practice as a psychotherapist. some of the observations i shared were as follows:

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in the recent years, i've been receiving younger clientele, particularly college students and young adults who consult me unaccompanied by their parents or guardians. the problems for which they consult me for are problems which, a decade ago, i would only hear from mid-lifers and older people. (yes, the younger generation has become THAT complicated!) i have to be in touch with different subcultures and alternative lifestyles because the clients who consult me come from very diverse backgrounds (e.g., emos, goths, cosplayers, surfer dudes, wiccans, gender benders, etc.). but no matter what changes the times have brought, all my clients still need their basic needs met: the need to be listened to, the need to be accepted, and the need to be understood.

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one of the perks of being a speaker is meeting all sorts of interesting and intelligent people and u.p. pampanga was certainly not lacking in them.

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... the first pinoy supermodel ... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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well, guess who bumped into me... none other than the first ever pinoy international supermodel rocky salumbides.

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just to let you know what he's achieved, this former balut vendor/ construction worker was 3rd runner up in the 2004 Best Model of the World contest held in istanbul, turkey. he also won the 2004 Best Male Model of MTV Fashionista.

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what makes rocky admirable is that despite his awards and his being the favorite model of international fashion designers, rocky remains humble, down-to-earth, and unpretentious. he certainly is a guy with a demeanor to emulate!

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... transphobia on a reality tv show?... (philippines, life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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ms. marie lozano of tv patrol dropped by my clinic to interview me about the alleged discrimination against a transexual housemate of a reality tv show.

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reportedly, the transexual housemate was being referred to by co-housemates with names such as "she-man," "half-half," "samson and delilah," and "two-in-one."

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i explained that such behavior is not necessarily "transphobia (defined as "the discriminatory treatment of transgender individuals)" and the words they used are not necessarily derogatory. one likely possibility is that the housemates simply have limited vocabulary and do not have the politically-correct descriptors for their transgender co-housemate. in the first place, they might not even know that the word "transexual" exists.

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if indeed the housemates were discriminatory, it would be more helpful to educate them about transexualism than to condemn them for how they behaved.

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also, i explained to ms. marie that all of us have personal biases and harbor some discriminatory thoughts. what's important is (1) that such biases are not acted upon, (2) that such biases are not imposed on others, and hopefully (3) that there is an attempt to eradicate such thoughts and attitudes.

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lastly, i gave a reminder for viewers of the show to watch their own reactions, lest they display the same negative attitudes and behaviors for which they faulted the housemates.

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... counseling for transgendered, transexual, and gender-variant persons in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychiatrist)

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i met sharon for a counseling session this afternoon and she told me her story.
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as a kid growing up, she didn't have much care in the world. but as soon as puberty hit her, she fell into a deep crisis about her sexual identity. she became severely disturbed by the mismatch between her masculine mentality and her feminine appearance. for her, nature had played a dirty trick on her by making her a "man trapped in a woman's body."
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in order to halt the development of female sexual characteristics, she resorted to extreme dieting which made her frail and sickly in the process. years later, as she researched on the internet, she discovered that what she considered as her "affliction" had a name-- it was a condition known as "transexuality."
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this afternoon, sharon sought consultation with me for the very reason that she was ready to come to terms with her transexual self. she was ready to let go of the emotional baggage that had burdened her through the years.
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through individual counseling and group therapy with other transexuals, i hope to assist her well in her journey towards personal healing, growth, and wholeness.
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... maintaining long distance relationships ...

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just did an interview for the TFC program "kwentong disyerto." the topic was on maintaining relationships across the miles. the crew was a friendly bunch and because of their apparent dedication to helping filipino migrant workers and their families, this brief interview was all the more engaging to do.

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first of all, i stressed in the interview the fact that couples separated by long distance are vulnerable to a number of problems which include loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts; jealousy and insecurity; infidelity; lessening intimacy; quarrels and conflicts.

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given these risks, it is important for couples to keep their emotional intimacy burning and to stay committed and faithful to the relationship.

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there wasn't time to give a lot of tips but these were what i mentioned: (1) frequency of communication is as important as the quality of interaction. (2) some forms of communication douse cold water on the warmth of a relationship. couples should minimize or avoid nagging, criticism, accusation, put-downs, shouting, demanding behavior, mind games, and guilt tripping. (3) couples should express a lot of encouragement and appreciation to each other. (4) couples should keep each other updated through blog journals, virtual (on-cam) visitations, handwritten letters, hand-made cards, videos and audio recordings. (5) avoid sharing problems to the opposite sex lest an affair develops. (6) and finally, it will be helpful for each partner to have a support and accountability group which monitors for unfaithful behavior, among other things.

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here i am counseling OFW juancho on his long distance relationship.

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Juancho seems to be absorbing everything i say with focused intent and concentrated effort.

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yes, it just seems.

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... the emotional help continues: bringing hope and healing to typhoon survivors ...

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just what does a mother say when her 8-year old child asks, "is this the end, mom? is this our destiny?" just what comfort can this mother offer when she herself is struck with terror by the very questions her child asks?

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such were the stories shared in the post-typhoon disaster forum i facilitated at the national grid corporation of the philippines.

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people have the impression that just because the worst of the typhoons is over and that the relief goods have been distributed, the typhoon survivors can now put their trauma behind them. but the sad truth is this: when calamity strikes, it deeply sears into one's heart what is known as the "death impact." it is the sense that life is frail, that everyone is vulnerable, and that death may be lurking at any corner, at any time.

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a month has passed since the typhoon disaster happened but many typhoon survivors are still experiencing anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and grief. some are now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or ptsd.

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these people, they continue to need helping hands, listening ears, and compassionate hearts!

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the workshop: helping typhoon victims overcome and survive their emotional storms

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the workshop was attended by educators, social workers, hr officers, psychologists, ministers, and students.
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we started by sharing our personal experiences during the typhoons ondoy and pepeng. though a month had past since the two storms, many participants were still emotionally distraught as they narrated their stories.
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after the sharing session, we proceeded with learning different ways to help typhoon disaster victims overcome anxiety, depression, grief, insomnia, and post-traumatic stress disorder. among the the topics covered were:
- cognitive processing therapy,
- relaxation methods,
- emotional freedom techniques,
- emotional release therapy and EMDR,
- brain balancing techniques, and
- art therapy.
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participants had plenty of practice sessions:
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many participants received relaxation and healing in the process:
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and what workshop would be complete without some smiles and camaraderie?
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my thanks too to agnes, al (and may) for their ever-reliable, ever-efficient support and assistance!

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