She ‘Displays Exemplary Unconditional Love’ But ...
by Nikko Dizon
Philippine Daily Inquirer (excerpt)
First Posted 02:01:00 01/22/2010
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MANILA, Philippines—Marlene Aguilar may take a thousand bullets for her son, as she has declared, but psychologists say a mother should also find a way for her child to take responsibility for his actions.
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An objective view of Aguilar’s actions would show that “to some degree, her actions were an exemplary, commendable display of unconditional love,” according to Randy Dellosa, a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist.
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“There was a willingness to sacrifice herself and to protect her loved one,” Dellosa said, noting the “enmeshed relationship” between the mother and son.
“There was a willingness to sacrifice herself and to protect her loved one,” Dellosa said, noting the “enmeshed relationship” between the mother and son.
“[Sadly however], there was also a high tolerance for inappropriate behavior, and even an act of covering up for it... It’s something like a negatively dependent relationship. They need each other... where the mother is the rescuer of her son who needs rescuing,” he said.
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“A mother’s love should be limitless,” Dellosa explained. “But it doesn’t mean condoning the child’s mistakes because helping or getting help for the child, imposing disciplinary actions on him, is also a sign of limitless love.”
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