... being bullied ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

mark nitoma of gma's kapuso mo jessica soho interviewed me on the topic of bullying.  

there's not much i can add to what i've already written in the following blog entries:  

• http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2012/05/anti-bullying-act-of-2012-life-coach.html

• http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2012/03/hate-crimes-and-psycho-trauma.html

• http://randydellosa.blogspot.com/2011/08/anti-bullying-campaign-philippines-life.html

i'd like to share though that i myself have had my share of being bullied.  

i remember way back in la salle green hills grade school,  i was a scrawny geek walking down the hallway when this monstrous-looking shrek of a schoolmate grabbed me by my polo uniform and lifted me high up at arms length.  as i was struggling in mid-air, i accidentally kicked him in the nads, forcing him to release me as he fell to the ground, cringing in pain and whimpering like a little schoolgirl.  the kick to the nads was a lucky strike but after that incident, i was hailed as some kind of hero by the geeks who witnessed the incident.  

and then in ateneo high school, i remember napping in my seat and waking up because the darn bullies had lit my butt on fire.  i tried to stand up only to find out that i couldn't get out of my seat because they had padlocked me to my chair with a dozen large yale padlocks.

there... 
just two of the many stories wherein i was bullied. 

  

... and now i'm a pastor ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

the universal life church (ULC) is an ecumenical, non-denominational organization that has granted me ordination as a religious minister.  the ULC has no traditional doctrine and its stated beliefs are as follows: 

• Objective: Eternal Progression.
• Goal: A Fuller Life for Everyone.
• Slogan: To Live and Help Live.
• Maxim: "We Are One."

you might have noticed that the ULC beliefs are very general and are applicable to people of whatever religious persuasion.  the ULC does NOT ordain me to be a minister of any particular sect, denomination, or religion.  this suits me quite perfectly because i have no intention of proselytizing, converting, or evangelizing people into a particular faith. 

the ULC simply ordains me INTO THE VOCATION of being a minister, regardless of whatever my religious affiliation or spiritual beliefs are.  again, this suits me just fine because my mere intention in wanting to be a minister is to"minister" to people- "minister," meaning "to help, serve, and attend to people in need."  

as for the matter of me being a "religious" minister, it is a practical religiousity which i espouse wherein love and compassion are manifested through concrete acts of goodness towards others.  James 1:27 states, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

here is what my I.D. looks like:

the organization has also conferred upon me the honorary degrees of doctor of divinity (D.D) and doctor of metaphysics (D.M.).  

a doctor of divinity is simply someone who has had advanced studies in theology and religion,

a doctor of metaphysics (a.k.a. metaphysician) is someone who has taken in-depth philosophical studies on the nature of life and reality.
  

as a life coach and counselor, i am often consulted by people with existential or spiritual issues.  i still subscribe to and live by the tenets of my Christian faith but out of respect for people's spiritual paths, i make sure that i never impose my own religious convictions on my clients.  instead, as their fellow pilgrim on this earth, it is my joyous task and humbling privilege to accompany my clients in their respective spiritual journeys, helping them to overcome blocks to their spiritual growth, and helping them pursue God in ways that are meaningful for them.

   

... kapamilya deal or no deal screening ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

my job as a psychological screener is to give a series of psychological tests as the basis for picking the contestants who will come out on the show.  on every screening day, there are hundred of hopefuls wishing that it would be their lucky day.  

here are the dedicated people who untiringly work behind the scenes to make kapamilya deal or no deal a smash hit of a game show! 

people often ask me who mr. banker is?  truth is, only big brother knows.  being the sleuth that i am, i visited their facebook accounts to find out what they really look like ... and boy, was i in for a surprise!

here is big brother's profile pic:

and here is the banker's profile pic:

hmm, what an uncanny resemblance they have of each other.  

... the four great psychotherapists who inspire my work ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

psychology students from rizal technological university dropped by my clinic for a quick chitchat on my work as a psychotherapist.

Dynehgre Casasola, Sheryl Cayaco, Charmaine Garcia, 

Rona Mae Hiponia, Janine Lagrama, and Joyce Ann Pabello

if i were to go back in time and redo my training as a psychotherapist, i would most definitely make ericksonian hypnotherapy the foundation of my training.  

let me introduce to you four great psychotherapists who have significantly influenced the way i practice psychotherapy today:

dr. milton erickson- 

psychiatrist and medical hypnotherapist.  

from dr. milton erickson, i learned 
not to just talk to people, but to communicate 
with people's subconscious minds.  

dr. fritz perls- 

psychiatrist and founder of gestalt therapy

from dr. fritz perls, i learned to help people let go of their emotional baggage, so they can truly and fully live in the 'here and now.'

dr. irwin yalom- 

psychiatrist and pioneer of existential psychotherapy.

from dr. irwin yalom, i learned to help people find 

deep personal meaning to their 
fleeting earthly existence.  

dr. alexander lowen- 

psychiatrist and pioneer of bioenergetic analysis.

and from dr. alexander lowen, i learned 
to help people experience an integration of 
body, mind, emotions, and soul.  

to all budding psychotherapists,

make drs. erickson and perls,

drs. yalom and lowen

your friends.

soak yourselves in their teachings

and be inspired by them.

wear their minds

as you facilitate

deep, lasting, and positive change

in the people you help.

... gestalt therapy growth group: live the questions now! ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

angel and bart, medical students of the u.p. college of medicine, drop by for a session on gestalt therapy.

one theme which we tackled today was about being at a crossroads in one's life and not knowing which direction to take.  

for those of you feeling confused, i would like to share with you this quote from the poetess maria rilke:  

"... have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves .... Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."  

- Maria Rilke, 1903, in Letters to a Young Poet

i hope maria rilke and i have inspired you a bit today.  God bless you all! :D 

... Yahoo OMG: "The Mistress" with Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

The well loved onscreen tandem, 

Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz reunite 

for Star Cinema's "The Mistress."

First, there was “No Other Woman.” Then came “The Mistress”, and now, “A Secret Affair.”

Why do stories about infidelity spring up like mushrooms these days?  What’s with all these moaning and groaning in dark corners while the innocent spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is not looking? Just as important, why do movies that make peeping toms out of moviegoers make such a killing at the box-office?

Movies being the mirrors of life that they are, the answer is easy: we love being voyeurs.    Another thing is, even the most reclusive of people know of a mistress in their circle.  It’s something a conservative country like the Philippines is teeming with. And it’s grist for the gossip mill.

Psychologist’s view

Showbiz  psychologist Dr. Randy Dellosa thinks films about third parties create emotions so strong, people can’t resist queuing up to cinemas. He thinks there’s something in these movies for everyone.

“Those who have had a first-hand experience of secret affairs in their own relationship  will readily identify with the actress playing the mistress or commiserate with the anguish of the betrayed wife."

"Those unhappy in their current relationship may be drawn to such movies because of a subconscious wish to engage in secret affairs themselves,” he explains.

To be sure, not all mistresses are the same.  Some are cruel down to their bone marrows.  Others are simply in it for the money. The scenarios are endless.

As the Holy Bible says, judge not, lest ye be judged.

But one thing's sure -- mistresses make interesting characters.  There's never a dull moment with them.  And they're usually sexier, better dressed, even younger than the wife.

So their presence — on screen or off -- are riveting.  Think Anne Curtis ("No Other Woman)" and Andi Eigenmann ("A Secret Affair), whose role as third parties add spice and eye candy to the film.  Besides, when the faces — and the bodies — are these tempting, can moviegoers of both sexes resist?

This is the stuff blockbusters are made of.  So producers cash in on the money back guarantee as if there's no tomorrow.

... psychology of satanists and satanism ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

mark almajose of korina sanchez' rated k, a tv documentary on abs-cbn, got my take on the psychology of satanists.  

in my clinical practice, all sorts of people consult me, and some of them have been self-identified satanists.  i am not fazed when they tell me that they are satanists, because my professional mindset is to be non-judgmental and respectful of the religious convictions of people.  and thus, i interact with them as i would with any other client.  of course, whenever i meet people with "alternative lifestyles" who espouse "non-conventional belief systems," the psychologist in me becomes automatically curious on how they came to be.  

so far, the satanists i have met aren't sinister-looking, and neither do they have the stereotyped diabolical laughter which satan is portrayed to have in cartoons and in the movies.  

as i listened to their stories, what i find common among them is that they come from troubled families wherein they experienced some degree of emotional, physical, verbal, or sexual abuse from one or both parents.  the common emotion that emanates from their stories is anger.  and they seem to have a strong inclination towards defiant, impulsive, and sometimes addictive behaviors.  it also seems that their choice of religion is founded on rebelliousness and angst, rather than an authentic pursuit of life-giving and life-enhancing spirituality. 

like any other person, my satanist clients need to heal from their deep emotional childhood wounds, to 'rise from the ashes' so to speak, and find fresh options for living a more meaningful and joyful life.  

... the GREAT Group: Support Group for Friends with Social Anxiety Disorder ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)

what inspires me most about the GREAT group is that its members are dedicated to get out of their shells to pursue personal growth and attain their fullest human potential.  

established by mother hen chevlenz buena, the GREAT group meets occasionally to make new acquaintances, to deepen existing friendships, to share stories, to give encouragement to one another, to learn new ways of coping with stress and anxiety, and to have fun.

one of the rewards of the support group meetings is the camaraderie built through the growth activities.  to pixie, tonton, blessie, mimi, and giselle, til we meet again, God bless us all! :D