... God's secret as revealed through KALOOB ministry ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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KALOOB Ministry is a worship team committed to the use of indigenous music and dances in Christian worship. The team, in fact, is taught and coached by the Philippine tribal elders themselves.
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In 1994, KALOOB was organized by Pastor Ed Lapiz of Day By Day Christian Ministries. KALOOB is not against Western forms of worship. Under the creative leadership of Randy Concepcion, the group simply wants Filipino Christians to have a deeper appreciation of their own God-given cultural heritage.
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The work "kaloob" means "gift." KALOOB dedicates all their musical and dance numbers as a gift to God, hence, they consider each performance as a sacred "prayformance."
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It's must be this nationalistic streak in me. Ever since I learned about the KALOOB ministry, I became their instant and ardent fan.

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Truth is, whenever I see KALOOB perform their tribal music and dances, I am amazed at how God has abundantly blessed the Philippines with rich and beautiful indigenous cultures. Our Spanish colonizers may have looked down on the lowly Filipino "indio," but KALOOB makes me proud of being one. Because we are so culturally gifted, KALOOB makes me believe that God is secretly Filipino at heart!

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... growth group activity: swimming in a slimy pool with dead chickens floating ... (psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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growth group participants were college students from holy angel university, pampangga. there was abby, airee, camille, gretch, irma, joy, kim, krisan, patrick, and thea.

today's theme was again on parent-children relationships.

parents always have to be reminded that they either make or break their children. when parents have serious marital conflict, or when parents mistreat their children, or when parents are conflicted individuals, they inflict emotional wounds on their children which may scar them for life.

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one of the participants mentioned something that stuck to my mind: that the people we live with are sometimes the ones [emotionally] furthest away from us.

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what a challenge parents have in the rearing of their children!
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... zen prayers at meal time ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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two values which zen espouses is compassion and gratitude.
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in zen, the practice of compassion and gratitude is not externally-imposed. it is a natural and spontaneous outcome of experiencing a deep connectedness and interweaving of our life with the lives of all other beings.
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this experience of unity, compassion, and gratitude is reflected in the simple prayers which are said at the zen retreats before and after meals. i experience a quiet joy in my heart everytime i pray these prayers. in this season of lent, i'd like to share them with you.
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Prayer Before Meals .

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Leader: Let us take our bowls in hand and say
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All: Father in heaven,
we now offer this food to you.

May all creatures everywhere
share it with us together.


We ask you to bless this food
And make us mindful of the hungry.


Amen.
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Prayer After Meals

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Leader: Let us remember again how the food came to us.
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All: Father in heaven,
we are thankful for this meal
the work of many people
and the sharing of other forms of life.


Accept this gratitude as a prayer
for those who are hungry.

May your creatures everywhere be blessed.

Amen.
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... macho dancing workshop for preschool kids this summer ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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it is outrageous to learn that child psychologist Dr. Honey Carandang, an expert on child abuse, was sued by jan-jan's parents for giving her expert opinion that jan-jan underwent a "form of abuse." after all, the statement she gave was simply her opinion.

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doods maglaqui of tv5's paparrazzi interviewed me about the jan-jan issue.

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what jan-jan's parents have to do is find another child psychologist who is willing to stake her professional reputation and make the counter-opinion that macho-dancing by pre-schoolers can actually promote their psychological health and development.
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studies point out that the common sexual behaviors found in children aged 4-6 years old include the following:
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• touching their private parts


• attempting to look at people who are naked or getting undressed


• imitating dating behavior (, e.g., kissing, holding hands)


• talking about private parts and using "naughty" words even if they don't understand the meaning


• exploring private parts with children


• asking questions about sexual matters (e.g., where children come from; what the difference is between boys and girls)

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you may have noticed that "performing lewd gyrations on national tv while being egged on and laughed at by TV host and audience" is NOT included in the list.
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i guess jan-jan's parents are going to have a difficult time looking for a psychologist to stand by them.
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... computer addiction therapy and rehab in the philippines ...

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mr. cesar apolinario, field reporter for gma news posed me this question: why would kids rather play computer games than engage in outdoor activities, especially this summer?

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i cited the following reasons:

• technology has created a culture of laziness. high tech gadgets have certainly made life easier, and people- lazier. every generation is getting more sedentary than ever.
• computers are accessible. it’s difficult to resist playing computer games when there’s a computer within reach. In fact, the trend for kids these days is to have his or her own computer or laptop, which means that unless they’re supervised, they can play anytime they want.
• computer games give the illusion of activity. when kids play counterstrike, dota, nba, and other computer games, they experience a rush of adrenaline which makes them think and feel that they’re engaged in physically strenuous activity.
• the need to be “in.” if classmates and friends are playing a certain game, they don’t want to be the “odd man out.”
• low self-esteem. kids who lack self-confidence and social skills would naturally want to engage in solitary activities like playing computer games.
• parental modelling. kids pattern their attitudes and behaviours after their parents’. if parents are glued to the computer, so will their kids .
• computer games are specially designed to be addictive. that’s how computer game companies rake in cash.
• genetic predisposition. the potential to be an “addict” can get passed on through the genes.

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my advise won’t be anything new:

• parents should teach by example and live balanced lives.
• the kids’ extra-curricular use of the computer should be monitored and limited.
• parents should place a premium on family bonding time through shared interests and activities.
• parents should work at being approachable and likeable to their kids, so that the kids don’t escape from their company by playing computer games.
• kids of this generation get easily bored so they should be kept busy with activities they enjoy (not necessarily what the parents enjoy).

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... cybersex in the philippines ...

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the crew of gma tv show “mel and joey,” led by segment producer Jordan, wanted to know the pros and cons of cybersex. cybersex is the online exchange of sexual messages through email, chat, or iphone by 2 or more people, frequently while viewing each other on cam, and the sexual exchange ending in sexual release via masturbation.

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the pros of cybersex:

• it carries no risk of pregnancy or sexually-transmitted disease, unless of course they “seb” up or engage in “sexual eyeballing,” which means for them to actually meet in person to engage in sex.
• through cybersex, people can engage in illicit or extra-marital affairs more discreetly through the net, especially if the computer used isn’t shared with others.
• and for couples in long-distance relationships, cybersex is the closest they can get to having sex with each other. in this case, cybersex is better than having no sex at all.

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the cons of cybersex:

• cybersex can become a sexual addiction.
• cybersex can become the only form of sexual behaviour enjoyed, such that cybersex is preferred over actual sexual intercourse.
• cybersex is commonly engaged in as a form of infidelity.
• people on the net don’t always present their real identities. for instance, a guy may engaged in cybersex with another guy who presents himself as a woman. or a middle-aged pedophile may present himself as a teenager to the unsuspecting young female he’s having cybersex with.
• and of course, cybersex carries the risk of embarrassment or humiliation from getting caught.

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... famous psychologist in the philippines ...

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i’d like to thank the far eastern university’s PSYnergy 5 and all the psychology associations of various colleges and universities for recognizing me as one the famous psychologists in the philippines. this humbles me very much and inspires me to continue doing my best to help people in their times of emotional hardship and suffering.

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to all the students i’ve had in class, to all the participants of my growth groups, to all the patients and clients i’ve journeyed with through the years, to all my mentors and tormentors, to my family and friends-- you have all contributed to my growth as a professional and as a person, and i want you to know that i am heartfully indebted to all of you.

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... the gentle way of releasing muscle tightness ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

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gina lee is a kindred spirit in the field of holistic healing.

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just to give you a rundown of the many hats she wears, she is a reiki master, acupuncturist, tuina bone-setter, bowen therapist, dorn method practitioner, pediatric massage therapist, deep nerve therapist, and craniosacral therapist. and just when you think that that's all to her list, she is also an "emm-tech" instructor, "emm-tech" standing for "easy muscle management technique."

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emm-tech is a fast and effective release therapy used to (1) relieve muscle pain and discomfort, (2) increase flexibility, and (3) develop stability and balance. this technique involves the application of light pressure on the various points on the body, which causes the release of muscle groups.

the hilarious thing about emm-tech is that it frequently uses the middle finger to perform the "touches." in our class picture below, you'll see us unabashedly displaying the main "instrument" of emm-tech."

. being a holistic healer and body therapist myself, i've attended many training workshops on various healing modalities here and abroad. to date, i have to say that gina's training workshop is one of the most amazing workshops i've ever attended- amazing not only because of gina's light-hearted character and easy-going style of teaching, but also because emm-tech produces baffling results that are difficult to explain.

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for instance, just through a series of light touches on my body, emm-tech was able to make my neck twist more freely from side-to-side, release my frozen shoulder, soften up my diaphragm, release my tight hamstrings and calf muscles, and make me stand up in a more balanced and stable manner. . i am therefore proud to have learned the essential skills of emm-tech and excited to help people through it.

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here i am practicing emm-tech on leomil adriano, dedicated professor of physical therapy at the university of santo tomas. thanks leomil!

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and here is greg ciocson, renowned feng shui expert and akashic record reader, practicing emm-tech on me. thanks greg!

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... breaking up is hard to do: relationship / couples counseling in the philippines ... (psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist, life coach)

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"word up" is a youth-oriented television program which airs on the nbn and zoe channels. the segment they did was on the topic of relationship break-ups. i said much more during the interview but these are some few tips i'd like to share with you at the moment:

. (1) first of all, accept it dude, it's over! some relationships aren't meant to be, just like the one you came from.

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(2) kill the hope! as long as you keep a tiny spark of hope for reconciliation, you are NOT going to move on! so how do you kill the hope? well, accept and keep on accepting that it's over!

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(3) grieve. a part of you has died. your dreams and plans as a couple have died. feel your grief, don't suppress it. it's natural and normal to go through a grieving process after a break-up.

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(4) give up plans of revenge. put your "evil" side to rest. if you take revenge, you'll just give your ex more reasons to validate the break-up. you'll come out as the "bad guy" and you'll certainly regret your wicked deeds later on. furthermore, if you take revenge, again, you haven't accepted that IT'S OVER, DUDE! IT'S OVER!

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(5) no relationships on the rebound please. when one jumps into a relationship right after a break-up, it's usually one of four things: it's done out of revenge; it's done as a desperate attempt to make the ex jealous; it's done as an attempt to escape from the loneliness of a break-up; or, it's done as an attempt to move on. please, don't make matters worse by entering into a rebound relationship. finish your grieving process first, and then be a whole and happy person again before getting into a new relationship.

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(6) get emotional support from family and friends. if you've become emotionally bankrupt, well, start filling yourself up again with the warmth and care of people who love you.

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(7) distract yourself. when you're tired of feeling your gloomy feelings, distract yourself by going out with friends, watching tv, listening to music (not the sentimental ones, obviously), attending a fellowship, learning a new sport or craft, getting a massage, and so on and so forth. distractions may be emotional "band-aids" but any distraction is better than none at all.

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(8) decide to stop getting depressed. well, not too soon. they say that the grieving period lasts from 6 months to 2 years. just realize that the cliche is actually true- that "time heals all (or most) wounds." trust your process. when it's time to get up and start going again, you naturally and certainly will!

. (9) and lastly, get professional help if you start hurting yourself (e.g., cutting), or become suidical, or feel that you're depression is getting worse. remember, there is always hope and help available for you.

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... life coaching, chris cayzer, and artist development in the philippines ... (life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

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if you're an athlete and want to excel in your sport, get a sports coach. if you want to be in tiptop physical shape, it's a fitness coach you hire. but when it's about reaching your life goals and attaining your fullest potential as a human being, it's a life coach that you need.

.life coaches have a 3-fold task. they help you deal with your common life problems; they teach you life skills which enhance the quality of your life; and they help you grow towards the direction that you want.

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more and more artists in the entertainment industry and in the artistic field are beginning to see the value of life coaching. you see, it's not enough that one has talent. firstly, one needs to overcome any emotional and psychological blocks to creativity. and secondly, many artists are extremely right-brained so they may need help in structuring their lives so that they can stay on track with their professional and life goals.

. one of the artists who uses life coaching to enhance creative potential is that soulful musician, chris cayzer. currently, his song "drive" is top 3 in myx and channel v. despite his success as a singer, he is constantly reaching for the apex of his creative musical potential.

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and just to show you how his musical mind works, all throughout the sessions we've had, chris would scribble down thoughts that flash through his mind- ideas which could be material for the lyrics of his songs.

. in fact, he's allowed me to share with you some of those scribbled thoughts:

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If people you love

and love you fight,

don't take sides

cuz the problem will get bigger.

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there is enough time in this world

for spotlight;

listening is learning

but sing when given a chance.

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don't take things

for granted,

and don't let people

take you for granted.

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don't let yourself

lie to the people

who love and care about you.

you are only fooling yourself.

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somehow,

you have to be caged

to know what freedom is.

use it now!

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i'd rather live under a spell

than not live at all.

. there! how's that for a taste of his creative genius? i wish you the best, chris. may you attain the good and happy life that you aim for!

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... growth group activity: the forest burns as the demon kills the fairy ... (psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist, life coach, philippines))

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today's growth group was composed of psychology students from san beda-- adam, arthur, chey, jico, karen, mark, and mayel.

. the topic was on dysfunctional parent-child relationships, particularly about children being raised by childish or immature parents.

. when parents are childish or immature, the children may model after their parents and grow up to be childish adults themselves.

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another possibility is for a role reversal to take place, wherein the children become more "adult" than their age and start acting like parents to their own parents. others call this the "adult child" syndrome.

. childish or immature parents inflict deep and long-term psychological damage on their children. as they get older, these children may need psychotherapy to undo the damage. in psychotherapy, they'll learn how to "reparent and nurture their inner child."

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hopefully, through psychotherapy, the "sins" of their parents won't get passed on to their children and the generations that follow.

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