tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7624730283894724121.post3770015527409292024..comments2024-03-27T00:34:04.254-07:00Comments on Randy Dellosa: ... gma: jessica soho interviews soliman cruz ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, osteopath, quezon city, manila, philippines)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15074513006102301649noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7624730283894724121.post-41708053783569945392022-08-17T03:38:26.189-07:002022-08-17T03:38:26.189-07:00Thanks for sharing thhisThanks for sharing thhisRocky Mount Washing Machine Repairhttps://www.washer-dryer-repairs.com/us/north-carolina-dryer-repair/rocky-mount-washing-machine-repair.shtmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7624730283894724121.post-51687819048824305272014-03-27T22:39:06.937-07:002014-03-27T22:39:06.937-07:00The voices aren't always auditory.The voices aren't always auditory.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7624730283894724121.post-368893883084281262014-03-27T22:37:37.071-07:002014-03-27T22:37:37.071-07:00“Okay, I’m going to feed off of the tragedy of Hel...“Okay, I’m going to feed off of the tragedy of Helena,” I decided.<br /><br />They say it takes one to know one. Though I did not end up dead, I had enough years of the downward spiral to make me look as another victim. But I am almost normal now. “Almost” because I am on maintenance medications still, I have low tolerance for stress already, and I cannot sleep too late anymore. If I act as though I am not in this state, the disorder’s manifestations would resurface again one way or another.<br /><br />If I were a reader of this piece, what would I be interested in? How it started? How I suffered? How it affected others? How I bounced back? How I managed to self-manage? How I processed my years of insanity as they say?<br /><br />At best I would point out my relationships with people as culprit—relationships that I took too seriously that when they broke down, I broke down. That’s how special and eventually heartbreaking they were.<br /><br />All the same, I had a depression at the disorder’s onset. I tried to figure what went wrong. I bothered people to analyze with me. I cried. I stopped being productive. I lost motivation. What could be worse? The other end of the spectrum? Mania’s impulsivity and thoughts and speech that kept on… despite the sleeplessness? No. The hallucinations were the worst. <br /><br />Although I still existed, it was like the end of my useful life because crazy was the judgment of the day. If I were crazy I would not have been pained by being deemed so. So I managed to humor myself with “If I’m crazy, then I’m saved.” Vindicated in thought. Yet still struggling to end the state of incapacity.<br /><br />The ability to function normally again in society seemed to be the measure by which the people around me judged that I was okay. Not knowing how to deal with me, they put their faith in instruments that they thought would help. <br /><br />Though not wanting to sound an ingrate, I know it was not the meds that primarily calmed me. It was God. It was the revelation after revelation about how I should deal with people including myself. It was the constant peeling off of layers of unforgiveness and self-absorption. It was the realization that the put downs should not have mattered had it all been for Him.<br /><br />It was God—through the Word, the preachers, the people that were close, and inspirational elements.<br /><br />I used to say, “What happened to me wasn’t the hardest, yet it broke me.” But He set me up to choose, to draw me near, to equip me to seek Him more. For what? The answers used to be visions for focus. Now they’re visions for guidance.<br /><br />When I kept on being bothered by the lack of closure and entertaining unrealistic elements, I lost focus. But God planted dreams in my heart. Now I’m back on track, with people not even having any hint of what I went through.<br /><br />Someone might dare to ask, “How do you know that you’re going to be okay for good, considering that the disorder is said to be life-long?” Dig this: “I assert my sanity in that I was confident enough to tell God I don’t know if I love You.” And He shared, “You love Me if you obey Me, and if you love Me it’s because I loved you first.” Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com